In the Deep End

Recovering People Pleasers: NOT Taking Things Personally


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We have been taking things personally most of our lives. In this episode we talk about why we think that is, what we have learned along the way and how we are trying to stop doing that in our lives. How we learned to be more accountable for our own stuff and stopped looking outside for validation, self esteem and love. We talk about our struggles with Low Self-Esteem, Perfectionism, People-pleasing, our relationship to Authority Figures and getting out of our own Victim Mindsets.


We go deep and get very personal in this one. We hope people can identify and find comfort with their own struggles that they are not alone, and maybe take a fresh perspective from this listen. We hope you enjoy!


What we cover in this episode:

  • 00:35 Taking things Personally ALL our Lives
  • 01:50 Definition
  • 02:50 "I care SO MUCH what other people think of me"
  • 03:55 Perfectionism/Low Self-Esteem/Pride & Ego
  • 06:45 Victim Mindset
  • 09:13 "A Recovering People Pleaser"
  • 11:00 Looking up to the Wrong People
  • 13:15 Throwing away opportunities if "you didnt like me"
  • 14:15 "How can I change myself for you"
  • 16:15 How someone thinks or acts is none of my business
  • 17:00 Wanting and expecting Special Treatment
  • 19:30 Needing to be the BEST employee
  • 23:00 Low Self-Esteem/Needing outside Validation
  • 28:15 Tomas' shift in his relationship w/ his brother
  • 35:45 Acceptance & taking Accountability
  • 42:00 Taking Ownership of our life
  • 43:30 Pain as a motivator of change
  • 45:50 Having Self-Compassion
  • 48:00 Forgiving Ourselves for our Past

  • Where you can find us:

    Tomas - https://www.tomasvirgadulacoaching.com/

    Lexee -  https://www.instagram.com/tarotbylexee/

    - https://linktr.ee/tarotbylexee

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    In the Deep EndBy Tomas Virgadula & Lexee McEntee