Do you live with someone who is going through recovery? What can you do when the fear of a relapse kicks in? How can each party interact with one another and work together to move through the fears?

In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge speak about recovery in real time.

In This Podcast

Summary

* Fear

* Daily acts

Fear

Both parties experience fear, the person in recovery, and the loved ones close to them. Even though someone is in recovery and has been sober for a long period of time, that fear is still present of ‘will they relapse’.

This fear can also be felt by the person in recovery, who may feel antagonized when their partners or family are nervous – however, it is a traumatic event for everyone involved and it can, and does, take a long time for things to settle again.

I don’t fight it like I used to. I really have been relieved of the obsession to do that, but I still have crazy thoughts that still enter into my mind – Billy

It is sunup to sundown for many people in recovery, because that feeling is just behind the door.

We never want to present ourselves as like this cheesy couple with all the answers, and we don’t have any of the answers … but we do wanna talk about issues to give people hope – Brandy

All kinds of betrayal, whether it is an addiction, infidelity, or abuse, all create a type of anxiety in our partners, and in order to bridge the divide, you need to lean into the uncertainty and look at the pain.

Daily acts

Billy gets up, gets on his knees, and asks God to help him stay sober. Having something outside of him helps him keep aware of his actions and act in the integrity of his family.

It really is just a slaying of the ego, because my best thoughts and my best laid plans got me here, so why would I think they could get me out of this place that I had gotten myself into? – Billy

To keep the sobriety, you keep it and pay it forward to others. He goes to meetings, reads every day, talks to people, and at night, getting on his knees and saying, ‘thank you for helping me’. Opening himself up to be available for what needs to get done on that day.

Brandy takes pride and feels compassion towards Billy for getting up every day and working on himself, being an example to the family of deep, simplified spirituality. Asking God for favor and wisdom, and talking to Billy when she feels like she goes in a small spiral from worry.

Together, they plan for the future but live for the day, in the present.

Books mentioned in this episode