In this episode, Toronto-based coach Reema Kiran shares her personal experience of becoming a single mother by choice. Despite initial fertility assessments suggesting she would have a high egg yield, her attempts at egg freezing resulted in only two eggs, a result she realized was not a sufficient "insurance policy." This medical setback, combined with the feeling that her biological window was closing, propelled her into active family building in her mid-thirties. Reema’s decision to become a solo parent was also deeply influenced by her South Asian heritage and her parents’ arranged marriage which “wasn’t always a happy marriage.” Growing up in a culture where arranged marriage is common, she was determined to never settle for a relationship just to have children, even though choosing single parenthood was viewed by many as going against societal and familial expectations.

Once Reema made the decision to pursue motherhood on her own. She meticulously managed the donor selection process, eventually choosing an open donor whose personal values and upbringing closely aligned with her own, however her path was further complicated by unexplained infertility, leading to six unsuccessful rounds of medicated IUI before she transitioned to IVF. A pivotal turning point occurred after a devastating first round of IVF where none of her three embryos passed genetic testing, leaving her at the "lowest of the low." This experience triggered a critical mindset shift from a "type A" need for control to a state of surrender, where Reema utilized her professional coaching background to navigate the emotional toll. After making the strategic decision to switch donors for her second round of IVF, she achieved a successful pregnancy.

Reema describes her pregnancy and the unmedicated birth of her daughter as an empowering culmination of her journey, supported by her family and a doula. Throughout the process, she learned to navigate the complex emotions of "grieving the fairy tale" of a traditional family structure while embracing the unique advantages of being a single mother by choice, such as having the final say in all parenting decisions. Now an author, consultant, and mother of a three-and-a-half-year-old, Reema provides emotional support and coaching to women considering similar non-traditional paths to parenthood, hoping to fill the gaps in support that she encountered. Reflecting on her journey through her coaching practice and her book, Choice Mom, emphasizing that her only regret was not starting the process sooner.

Connect with Reema at Choice Mom Coaching.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

single mother by choice, solo parent, family building, fertility journey, fertility treatment, egg freezing, IUI, IVF, genetic testing (PGT-A), IVF success, fertility assessment, donor conception, sperm donor, donor selection, open vs. anonymous donors, sperm banks, cultural scarcity, unexplained infertility, emotional support in fertility, single parenting, Choice Mom Coaching, Reema Kiran, mindset, personal development, coaching, navigating infertility, parenting without a partner, fertility treatments, support for single mothers, fairy tales, coping with infertility, family planning, cultural perceptions of motherhood, personal development in parenting

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