This morning, we’re starting a new series that will serve as a guide to healthy relationships.  A relationship is simply a connection between two people.  Just because two people are connected, that doesn’t make it a good connection nor a healthy connection nor a connection that should even be there.

For example, when my hand is connected to the handle of a hot pan, that’s a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.  However, when my hand is connected to the bottom of a hot pan, that’s a dangerous and unhealthy relationship.  It’s the same hand and the same pan, but the connection can either be a good thing or a really bad thing!

Now if that same hand and that same pan come into connection when the pan is cool, they can relate in any way and have it be a healthy thing.  The circumstances have simply changed.

If your spouse is raging hot mad at you, that’s probably not the best time to go to them and wrap them up in a big, bear hug and refuse to let go of them.  You might just get hurt!  If they are sobbing in despair, that’s a great time to go to them and wrap them up in a big, bear hug and refuse to let go of them. 

Same people, same connection, same relationship, but different circumstances.

Relationships can be hard.  If you stop and think about the times that you have hurt the most or been the most angry it was likely caused by a relationship with someone; a connection with them.  It was likely someone very close to you such as a spouse, parent, child, friend or someone that you invested a lot of yourself into such as an employer.

However, if you stop and think about some of the best times of your life and fondest memories, they also were likely experienced in the context of a relationship with someone.

Getting close to someone and choosing to trust them and make them a part of your life comes at a very high risk.  However, the risk of that connection can also come with a very great reward.

It makes you wonder what was God thinking…

He chose to create us very uniquely and differently from one another. 

Sure, some of us are more alike than others.  However, even identical twins who could not share more in common end up different from one another.  They shared a womb, most of their DNA, the way that they are raised, the school that they attend, and more and they still end up being very different from one another in many ways.

God did all of this on purpose.  One of the main purposes for this was for us to need one another.  You have abilities and strengths that I do not have.  I have abilities and strengths that you do not have.  No matter how independent of a person you might be, there are still needs that you have that can only be met by others. 

We need one another.  We need connected to one another.  We need relationships.

Our differences were intended to make us better together.  God’s intent was that we would complement each other and meet one another’s needs.  It was purposed that we would live in community and in harmony with one another.

However, our differences seem to more often cause more friction and irritation between one another than they do attract and connect us.  Even between spouses, the opposite attributes that once attracted them together early in their relationship often end up causing division later on.  In fact, Paul wrote about marriage and said:

1 Corinthians 7:28

If you do marry, you have not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life.

For those who are married (or divorced), you likely have had times when you thought that you made a huge mistake.  Paul outright says that if you marry, you have not sinned.  It will feel like it from time to time, but you really didn’t do anything wrong. 

What was God thinking?  Why did He create us so different from one another, but to need connection to one another?

Well, He also gave us some tools that can make our connections to others, our relationships, good and healthy.  Over