This morning, we’re continuing our message series that will serve as a guide to healthy relationships.  A relationship is simply a connection between two people.  Just because two people are connected, that doesn’t make it a good connection nor a healthy connection nor a connection that should even be there.

Relationships can be difficult and so God has given us a whole host of tools that we can use to make them function the way that He intended them to.  Last week, we learned about love.  This week, we gain another tool that can radically transform our relationships with others.

What makes relationships so difficult at times?  Well, according to numerous studies from many different sources, a consistent top reason for relationships failing has been attributed as a communications issue.  Whether it be a marriage, friendship, employer, contractor, etc. many issues that arise within those relationships is blamed on either the lack of communication or poor communication.

Although this is confirmed by therapists and human resource departments and psychologists alike, I found it interesting that the Bible does not seem to really address communication as a problem, though.

Why is this? 

Well, we were created by God to be in constant communication with the world around us.  Communication is happening all of the time and most of it isn’t even intentional; it just happens.

A married couple on the brink of divorce is likely communicating plenty to one another!  They may both say that they are having communication problems, but after listening for a few minutes, you’ll find that they have been communicating quite a bit to each other!

They communicated so much to their spouse by the way they spent money, by being on their phone during dinner, by coming home late, by never planning dates, by the way they discipline their children, by the way they close a door or walk across the floor, by the way they fold their arms or roll their eyes; even being absent altogether communicates something to their spouse. 

The Bible clarifies the true root cause behind what we often label as a communication problem.

The true issue at hand? 

Understanding.

Understanding goes beyond what we are perceiving that others are communicating to know for certain what people are intending to communicate.  Understanding humbles ourselves and honors others.  It syncs up our communication so that we accurately know how to interpret the information that we were perceiving.  Understanding is like a personalized dictionary that enables us to accurately translate what is being communicated to us.

Understanding doesn’t mean that we agree with the other person or even like what they are communicating, but it enables us to accurately hear what they are saying; both with and without words.  In fact, the more time that you spend with someone, the more that you build up that dictionary.

If you spend enough time with someone such as a coworker, friend, or spouse, you begin to understand exactly what someone is thinking or feeling without them even having said a word.  You can read their expression or the tapping of their foot or their hand on their hip.  You may not even be near them, but when overhearing what someone else says to them, you know exactly how they are responding to it.

Understanding goes beyond communication.  Understanding has the power to break up our hardened hearts and replace them with compassion and empathy.  It enables us to see others as not just who they are now, but also what forged them to be the way that they are and to see things from their perspective. 

Just one little piece of information can radically transform our perspective toward a person or situation because it gives us understanding.  Though the other person doesn’t change at all nor the way that they are communicating with us, understanding radically transforms what we perceive from them.  This understanding can all happen with just one little piece o