Jayson and Ellen explore how nervous system regulation impacts relational longevity and why being attuned to your partner changes everything. They talk about slowing down before trying to solve problems, becoming more aware of unconscious patterns, and not losing sight of your partner’s feelings. They also make the case for creating a home that actually feels safe. If you want a calmer, more connected relationship, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 1:26 - The nervous system and relational longevity
• 4:55 - Are you attuned to your partner's nervous system?
• 11:06 - Being more sensitive to your partner before solving problems
• 17:50 - Being aware of unconscious processes
• 23:54 - Don't lose sight of you partner's feelings
• 27:15 - Make home a safe place

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Why is attachment so important in a relationship? Jayson and Ellen break down what makes a partner different from a friend and why dependency is not the problem people think it is. They explore what it means to be someone your partner can count on, how to decide what kind of partnership you actually want, and why you have to consider what is good for you, your partner, and the relationship as a whole. If you want to build something solid, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 1:56 - why is attachment so important?
• 3:53 - the difference between a friend and a partner
• 8:41 - dependancy
• 11:36 - don't forget that your partner is counting on you
• 18:18 - decide what you want your partnership to look like
• 20:40 - is this good for me, you and us?

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

When was the last time you actually prioritized your relationship? Jayson and Ellen talk about why most couples wait too long to invest in their future and what it looks like to choose growth instead of just another vacation. They share what you can expect from their upcoming couples retreat, who it is really for, and why focusing on longevity changes everything. If you are serious about building something that lasts, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 2:36 - Retreat logistics/itinerary
• 4:58 - When was the last time you prioritized your relationship?
• 8:46 - Prioritizing longevity and your future as a couple
• 12:13 - Growth instead of a vacation
• 15:05 - Who is a good fit for the retreat?

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

What does it actually take to build a relationship that lasts? In part two, Jayson and Ellen break down the four core aspects of relational longevity. They explore why you need a basic understanding of attachment, how the nervous system shapes your interactions, the role of communication skills, and what your relational code says about how you show up. They also talk about the importance of actively cultivating connection if you want something that goes the distance. If you are serious about long term love, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 2:27 You need a basic understanding of attachment
• 4:27 Have an understanding of the human nervous system
• 6:03 Communication skills
• 7:51 Your relational code
• 12:28 Cultivate connection

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

What is relational longevity and why does it matter? Jayson and Ellen break down what it takes to build relationships that actually last. They explore the benefits of healthy connection, how to examine your own relationships honestly, and what defines a high quality connection. They also talk about discovering what is truly possible in partnership and why people want to feel utilized and needed. If you want relationships that go the distance, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 2:12 What is relational longevity?
• 3:41 Benefits of healthy relationships 
• 6:10 Examining your own relationships
• 7:38 What is a high quality connection?
• 11:10 Discovering what's possible in relationships
• 13:29 Partners want to feel utilized

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Jayson and Ellen explore divorce through an evolutionary and cultural lens. Why does divorce feel easier in some cultures than others? Why do some couples stay together but never truly thrive? How do you know when someone is the wrong person, and how do you honestly assess whether you did everything you could to make the relationship work? They also examine when divorce does not actually make things better and why taking responsibility for your role in relationship failures matters more than blame.

Timestamps:

• 1:36 - Human evolution and divorce
• 4:38 - Cultural differences in the ease of divorce
• 9:44 - Not all couples that stay together thrive
• 15:00 - How do you know when someone is the “wrong” person
• 18:42 - Did you do everything you could to make things work?
• 21:55 - When divorce doesn’t make things better
• 26:16 - Consider your own role in relationship failures

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Jayson and Ellen explore what it really means when couples say they never fight. They break down why fighting is anything that needs repair, not just overt conflict, and why couples who never fight miss important opportunities to learn. They look at the types of couples who avoid conflict, how much fighting is too much, which couples can work through frequent conflict, and the deeper issues that can be masked by a lack of fighting.

Timestamps:

• 1:39 - When couples say they never fight
• 4:11 - Fighting is anything that needs to be repaired
• 9:50 - If you never fight you never learn
• 12:50 - Types of couples that don’t fight
• 17:04 - How much fighting is too much?
• 20:27 - What kinds of couples can overcome fighting?
• 22:52 - Issues masked by a lack of fighting

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Jayson and Ellen break down the popular ideas around masculine and feminine energy and why these constructs create more harm than help. They explore how this paradigm becomes oppressive, why traditional gender roles limit co creation, and how over functioning and under functioning show up in relationships. They also examine why these ideas keep circulating despite causing so much confusion and disconnection.

Timestamps:

• 1:44 - Popular masculine and feminine constructs
• 7:15 - The oppressive nature of this paradigm
• 18:39 - Traditional gender roles are bad for co-creation
• 23:47 - Over-functioning and under-functioning
• 32:10 - Why do these ideas perpetuate?

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

What does it mean to win even when a relationship ends? Jayson and Ellen explain how to learn from your relationship regardless of the outcome and why being invested in your own growth is the real victory. If you want to leave every relationship better than you entered it, this episode will show you how.

Timestamps:

• 1:24 - How to win even if you lose
• 3:31 - Learning from your relationship even if it ends
• 10:36 - You have to be invested in your own growth

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!

Most couples don’t actually work on their relationship—they just work on everything else. In this episode, Jayson and Ellen unpack what it really means to prioritize your relationship, not just maintain it. They discuss why you can’t rely on a professional to do the heavy lifting, how to develop a longevity mindset, and how to talk about the relationship itself in a way that creates lasting change.

Timestamps:

• 3:49 - You can’t just rely on a professional
• 8:36 - The relationship longevity mindset
• 14:29 - Learning how to talk about the relationship
• 10:56 - Getting support

Links:

• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ellen's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• ​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jayson's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!