Gabby and I recently moved, and with that move came a lot of moving parts and a lot of things to tend to and care for. Thru this, a question came up: who is going to do this? Who is going to do that? Who will plan this? Who is even thinking about all of this? This is where todays conversation sparked from: the mental load. This is something we experience as individuals and amplifies when we get into a relationship. And it we don't face it together, it can cause major disturbances. So lets talk about it.

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Gabby and I just recently moved into a new home, and something that came up during the move was our desire to get the home 100% complete - design, colours, organization, etc. Unfortunately, we are not in a position to make that happen, which was disappointing to face. And at the same time, it got me thinking - what would have happened if we didn't create that clarity together? How would the next month or so have gone? What would have been the expectation? How would we have handled the reality when it smacked us in the face versus getting ahead of it? 

This brings us to todays episode - the value and importance of identifying what season of our life and relationship we are in. This small dose of clarity can do wonders for mitigating conflict, creating clear expectations, and opening up more freedom to think and feel.

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To understand what might be alive for us in our relationship right now, it can be extremely helpful to identify where we are at in the emotional cycle of change (also could be called "the steps to success"). Everything starts at the stage of uninformed optimism, but what happens from there is where the real value and depth of growth begin. 

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I attended a mens group a couple of weeks ago and as everyone was sharing, I realized something about myself; I am really great at being honest, but I am really not great at being vulnerable. As I sat with this for a couple of weeks, I discovered that I am not alone in this. I also discovered that when it comes to our relationships, whether it be friends, family, or lover, understanding the difference can actually open up the gateway for deeper connection and intimacy. That led me to curate this episode to support us with a deeper understanding of the light and the shadow sides of honesty and vulnerability, and some high-level questions to dig deeper into our honest selves and our vulnerable selves.

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Understanding the systems we operate is a foundational necessity for change, and in our intimate relationships, attachment theory is one of the most powerful sources to learn. In a previous episode, we talked all about the anxious system. Today. we focus our attention on the avoidant system. Together we explore what it is, how its created, what it looks like, what their views are on things like conflict/sex/relationship expectations, and we close with some tangible steps to take on our journey towards secure attachment.

Name it to tame it to evolve thru it.

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A common thread in relationship is withdrawing: mentally, emotionally, physically. When we don't know why this shows up, it can be very difficult to manage. Whether we are the one withdrawing, or we are experiencing our partner withdraw, this episode is built to help both sides gain clarity on the deeper why behind withdrawing behaviours. We also discuss what to do about it and how to better manage it as a team.

If you found value here today, it would mean a lot if you give it an honest rating and share with someone you think would find value!

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Today we breakdown one of the insecure attachment styles - the anxious attachment system. Together we break down what it is, what it looks like, and what we can do about it. We name it, we tame it, and we evolve thru it. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast to get alerts on the release of the next episodes of the attachment series where dive into the avoidant, the anxious-avoidant, and the secure.

Link to "The Strange Situation" videos.

Book reference: "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

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Do you cross your arms when talking to people? Do your cheeks reach your eyes when you smile? Do you squint at your partner when something doesn't make sense? All of these are just some of the many examples of the way our body speaks. And in relationship, this can be the make or break between our partner feeling accepted, or rejected. In todays episode, we break down the power of non-verbal expressions in an effort to improve our communication skills so we can find more alignment and connection in our intimate relationships.

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I came across these two posts the other day - one was a polarizing share about how "Relationships are easy, you just need to be with the right person," and a comment on a separate post that said, "so what - do we need to just talk like a therapist now?" After sitting with these, I came to a couple conclusions that I believe are important thoughts to consider. 

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Today we talk about money, one of the biggest challenges relationships face. But money isn't inherently the problem - the problem is how do hold space for two differing opinions, beliefs, and experiences while simultaneously creating financial safety and trust in the relationship? Today we begin that journey, starting with a deeper exploration of our own experiences with money, how that has developed over time, and what work we can do today to get closer to being on the same page.

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