GDDB 004 - Reload That Dad Arsenal

**NOT MY JOKES - NOT ORIGINAL - FOUND ONLINE OR FROM FRIENDS**

• "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
• "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd all get cracked up."
• "I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
• "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not spreading it!"
• "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
• "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
• "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
• "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
• "I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."
• Haha Lyall..."I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!"
• What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel!
• Where do horses live? In neigh-borhoods.
• What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.
• If two vegans are fighting, is it still considered a beef?
• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
• Why was the cow afraid to cross the road? It was afraid to brisket
• How did the farmer fix the hole in his pants? With a cabbage patch
• What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wreck.
• Why is a doctor always calm? Because they have a lot of patients.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost bite.
• What’s Forest Gump’s password? 1Forest1
• Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
• What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide
• What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t WOK away from me!
• What was the foot’s favorite type of chips? Droi-Toes
• Why is it so windy inside a stadium? There are thousands of fans.
• Where were pencils invented? PENCIL-vania.
• Where do you take a hamburger to dance? A meatball.

• Can you still believe they’re still together after all the shit they’ve been through? - Your butt cheeks!
• Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their buttquacks.

• What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines