BoomerTime with Nancy Cogar

Responding to Holiday Red Flags

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A lot of us spent the holidays with our parents and maybe we noticed some things that concerned us.  Maybe we noticed a decline of some kind or something else. Perhaps it was some memory loss, or your parents experienced a fall, or didn’t seem to be negotiating stairs or parts of the house as well anymore. Maybe they are forgetting to take their medicines or maybe they lost their way on the way back from the grocery store, or perhaps their driving scared you a bit.  Now you’re home and worried about whatever you experienced.  The big question is what do you do now?

That’s what we’re talking about in this episode.  I call those the holiday red flags and they can be very stressful.  Truth is they can indicate early stages of decline or diseases like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or other kinds of dementia.  If you live a far distance away from your parent this can only intensify those concerns about what to do next. 

Some red flags that may indicate some decline in your parents’ condition which require some follow up and may initiate some action on your part to investigate and start some long-term care planning.  That’s what we are talking about in this episode – what to look for and what to examine. 

  1. What was the condition of your parent’s home?  Take this in context related to how your parents have kept up their house over the years.  Have you seen a change in their habits when it comes to the upkeep and maintenance of the home? Then consider the following:
    • What kind of repairs and maintenance are needed to the home?
    • How much paperwork, bills and/or unopened mail is accumulating in the home?
    • What is the condition of the inside of the home, cleanliness, etc.?
      1. Examine the food in the cupboard, refrigerator, and freezer.  How much food is in the cupboard and refrigerator?  Are things out of date? Is the freezer filled with frozen dinners?
      2. Check in with friends and neighbors.  If you have an opportunity, speak with your parent’s close friends and neighbors.
      3. Observe your parents in social situations.  Are they engaged, involved, present and aware or are they withdrawn and isolated?
      4. Look for opportunities to meet with physicians. Try to have medical appointments while you are visiting and go along to those appointments.  Due to confidentiality and HIPAA requirements the medical staff and physicians will be restricted from talking with you without your parent’s authorization.  You an also work to obtain a medical health care power of attorney from an estate planning attorney or elder law attorney.
      5. Assess driving skills – You can make arrangements for their physician to examine them, and he/she can order a driving test to further assess their ability to drive which can remove you from this delicate issue.  There are alternatives available in which third-parties can be hired to come in and offer support in the home one or more days a week and help with errands and trips to medical doctors, etc. as an alternative to driving. 
      6. Weight loss – Have your elderly parents lost a significant amount of weight?  This may be a sign of depression or serious illness or a symptom that their medicines may be out of balance or need adjustment.  Schedule a visit with the prescribing physician.
      7. Balance – Pay close attention to how your elderly parents move, especially how they walk.  If they are unsteady on their feet, they may be at risk of falling which is a serious problem that can cause serious injury or worse.  Also look for bruises, contusions and band-aids which can be a sign of previous falls. There are things you can do to help them improve balance and strength.  A physician can prescribe physical therapy which can help improve balance, and Medicare can also cover the cost of handrails and other tools that can be installed in the home to help with balance issues.  

        8. Join the Boomer Time community! Learn more at NancyCogar.com, subscribe to my newsletter and gain helpful resources to help you or your loved one navigate aging with confidence.


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        BoomerTime with Nancy CogarBy Nancy A. Cogar, Esq.