""What the HELL?" I interrupted, suddenly way more angry than depressed. "You're supposed to @#!$ing tell me not to do it!"

"This is the suicide hotline," the woman said, now sounding confused. Then, "Are you sure you weren't thinking of the suicide prevention hotline?""

This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:

https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/07/18/reverse-psychology/