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Are you a “good girl” or a “bad girl”? And who decided what either of those things actually means?

Trina and Nicole unpack the double standards, shame, sexuality, motherhood and expectations that still shape how women are judged.

In this episode of Rewired and Desired, we explore the good girl/bad girl dichotomy and what happens when women step outside the roles society expects them to play.

Trina shares how working in adult entertainment exposed her to assumptions about who she was as a woman, mother and partner, even when those assumptions had little to do with who she actually was.

Nicole brings a different perspective: appearing more like the stereotypical “good girl” while making unconventional choices and refusing to build her life around other people's expectations.

Together, we talk about sexual shame, dating, motherhood, work, independence, sex work, disability, bodily autonomy and the strange tightrope women are expected to walk: attractive but respectable, independent but nurturing, sexual but not “too sexual,” confident but not threatening.

At some point, maybe the question isn't whether you're a good girl or a bad girl.

Maybe it's why we're still sorting women into those boxes at all.

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

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Why do women fake orgasms, and is it always because the sex isn't good?
 The real reasons can involve pressure, insecurity, pain, performance, communication... and sometimes simply wanting it to be over.

In this episode of Rewired and Desired, Trina Ricketts and Nicole Richards have an honest conversation about why women fake orgasms and what faking can reveal about pleasure, confidence, communication, and intimacy.

We talk about the pressure to “perform” during sex, worrying about how your body looks or sounds, orgasm expectations, the emphasis society places on penetrative intimacy, and how getting stuck in your head can make pleasure even harder.

We also explore intimacy when penetration is painful, difficult, or impossible because of surgery, disability, medical conditions, or sexual-function changes, and why taking penetration and orgasm off the pedestal can sometimes create more room for genuine pleasure.

And then there's the controversial question:

Is there ever a time when faking an orgasm might actually be okay?

Trina shares one situation where, based entirely on her own personal experience, she thinks it might be. No study. No scientific claim. Just an interesting idea we're curious to hear your thoughts about.

In this episode:

❤️ Why women fake orgasms
 ❤️ Sex and performance pressure
 ❤️ Body insecurity during intimacy
 ❤️ Why orgasm shouldn't become a “quota”
 ❤️ Penetration vs. non-penetrative intimacy
 ❤️ Getting out of your head and back into your body
 ❤️ Intimacy after surgery or medical changes
 ❤️ Performance anxiety and erections
 ❤️ Talking openly about pleasure with your partner
 ❤️ The one situation where Trina thinks faking might actually help

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

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Dating with an ostomy can bring up questions most dating advice never touches: What if my bag makes noise? What if I have a leak? When do I tell them? And what happens if the date leads to intimacy?

In this episode of Rewired and Desired, Trina Ricketts and Nicole Richards get very real about dating with an ostomy, from preparing your body and choosing what to wear to handling disclosure, intimacy, body confidence and the unexpected moments nobody warns you about.

In this episode, we talk about:

●      Preparing your ostomy before a date

●      Learning your body's output patterns

●      Dressing confidently without spending a fortune

●      Hygiene, grooming and getting ready for intimacy

●      What to bring in case of an ostomy leak

●      A real story about having a leak during a date

●      When to tell someone you have an ostomy

●      Whether to put your ostomy in your dating profile

●      Checking restaurant menus ahead of time

●      Belly bands, bag covers and intimacy

●      Managing ostomy sounds and worries during sex

●      Getting out of your head about your body

●      Why confidence matters more than having a "perfect" body

●      Handling rejection and dating without taking it personally

●      Dating in your 40s, 50s and beyond

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

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What if taking penetration off the table actually brought you closer together?

If pain, surgery, disability, ostomy, erectile dysfunction, or body changes have made intimacy feel impossible, this conversation may completely change the way you think about connection.

In this episode of Rewired and Desired, intimacy coach Trina Ricketts and ostomy advocate Nicole Richardschallenge one of the biggest myths we've been taught:

That penetration is the goal of intimacy.

Instead, they explore how couples can rebuild desire, trust, emotional safety, and physical closeness without feeling pressured to perform.

Inside this conversation you'll learn:

• Why so many women continue having painful sex out of guilt or obligation

• Why men often grieve the loss of penetrative sex after surgery

• How illness, disability and body changes affect desire

• Why emotional safety changes everything

• How taking penetration off the table can actually increase intimacy

• Practical ways to reconnect physically

• Non-penetrative intimacy ideas

• Communication tips for couples after surgery

• Trina's "Fake Lay" techniques and why they were created

Whether you're living with an ostomy, recovering from surgery, navigating erectile dysfunction, chronic illness, pelvic pain, or simply wanting a deeper relationship, this episode offers hope, practical ideas, and a new way to think about intimacy.

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

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Most people were never taught what actually creates female pleasure.

In this episode of Rewired and Desired, we have an honest conversation about why many women lose interest in intimacy, why penetration is often treated as the goal, and what actually creates connection, desire, and pleasure.

As an intimacy coach working with people after illness, disability, and body-altering surgery, Trina hears the same fears over and over from both men and women. Nicole shares how her own health journey changed the way she thinks about intimacy, while together we explore emotional connection, communication, body confidence, foreplay, pelvic health, erectile dysfunction, aging, and why great intimacy is about far more than performance.

Whether you're navigating disability, long-term relationships, menopause, pelvic pain, erectile dysfunction, or simply want a healthier perspective on intimacy, this conversation offers practical ideas without shame or unrealistic expectations.

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📌 Connect With Us
Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when illness, disability, and heartbreak completely change your relationship with intimacy?

In this episode, we share the deeply personal experiences that led us to dedicate our lives to helping people rebuild confidence, connection, and intimacy after body-altering surgery.

People often ask why we're so passionate about intimacy.

The truth is... neither of us planned to build careers around it.

Nicole's journey began after her ostomy surgery, when she struggled to find products that helped her feel confident during intimacy. That experience eventually led her to create innovative ostomy garments and become a leading advocate in the ostomy community.

Trina's path took an entirely different route through chronic illness, years without physical touch, work in the adult entertainment industry, intimacy surrogacy, and eventually coaching people living with disabilities and body-altering surgeries.

Together, we discuss:

• How our personal experiences shaped our missions
 • Why intimacy is about far more than sex
 • The hidden impact of touch starvation
 • Body confidence after ostomy surgery
 • Breaking stigma around disability and intimacy
 • Why products alone aren't enough to heal body shame
 • The importance of safe communities
 • Our vision for creating products and resources that genuinely help people feel confident again

Whether you have an ostomy, live with a disability, are recovering from surgery, or simply want a deeper understanding of intimacy and human connection, we hope this conversation reminds you that you are never alone.

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

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Many people with disabilities, chronic illness, or life-changing surgeries eventually ask the same question:

Who am I now?

When your body changes, your career changes, your relationships change, or your abilities change, it can feel like your entire identity disappears. In this episode of Rewired and Desired, we explore how values, character, self-love, and personal growth can help you rebuild a sense of self after major life transitions.

Trina shares how losing her health, career, confidence, and even aspects of her identity forced her to confront a deeper question about who she really was. Nicole shares the powerful results of a life-changing exercise: writing her own eulogy and discovering the values she wants to live by.

Together, we discuss:

✔️ Identity after disability and chronic illness
 ✔️ What happens when life strips away everything familiar
 ✔️ The difference between living from emotions versus values
 ✔️ Creating a personal constitution for difficult decisions
 ✔️ Boundaries, self-respect, and self-love
 ✔️ Personal growth after ostomy surgery
 ✔️ Spiritual perspectives on healing and transformation
 ✔️ Why confidence comes from within, not from appearance
 ✔️ Letting go of relationships with love instead of resentment

If you've ever wondered who you are after surgery, illness, trauma, or a major life transition, this conversation is for you.

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📌 Connect With Us
Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

Send us Fan Mail

If you've ever been sent home after surgery with pain medication and little guidance, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, Nicole and Trina share their personal experiences with post-surgical pain medication, physical dependence, withdrawal, chronic pain, and the emotional toll of trying to get help when medical professionals don't seem to understand what you're experiencing.

We discuss the difference between addiction and physical dependence, the shame many patients feel when withdrawal symptoms are misunderstood, and some of the non-medication strategies we've used to manage pain throughout our health journeys.

This episode is not medical advice. It's a candid conversation between two people living with chronic illness, disability, surgeries, and ongoing pain who want others to know they're not alone.

Support the show

📌 Connect With Us
Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

Send us Fan Mail

What if the hardest part of disability is that nobody can see it?

In this episode, we talk honestly about ostomy life, invisible disability, chronic illness, medical trauma, and the exhausting pressure to prove you are really struggling.

Today on Rewired and Desired, Trina Ricketts and Nicole Richards discuss whether having an ostomy can be considered a disability, why the answer is not the same for everyone, and how underlying illness, fatigue, dehydration, pain, leaks, food restrictions, bathroom access, and medical dismissal can deeply affect daily life.

We also talk about the emotional side of invisible illness: being told “but you look fine,” being judged for using disability accommodations, being dismissed by doctors, feeling like a burden in relationships, and trying to live your life while managing symptoms other people may never see.

This conversation is honest, personal, and a little raw because invisible disability is not always about what the world can see. Sometimes it is about everything you are quietly managing just to get through the day.

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Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing

Send us Fan Mail

Porn. Fantasy. Desire. Addiction. Emotional intimacy. This episode goes way deeper than “porn bad” takes.

In this honest conversation, Trina Ricketts and Nicole Richards unpack how porn culture may be shaping real-life intimacy, relationships, attraction, confidence, and expectations around sex, especially for people navigating disability, ostomies, surgery, body image, and emotional vulnerability.

From erectile dysfunction and emotional disconnection to unrealistic expectations and online entitlement culture, this episode explores the growing gap between performance-based sexuality and genuine human connection.

Trina also shares her unique perspective from years in the adult entertainment industry, while both hosts discuss:

●      porn and reward centers in the brain

●      intimacy versus performance

●      emotional connection during sex

●      desensitization and compulsive scrolling

●      “nofap” communities

●      consent and entitlement culture

●      fetishization within disability and ostomy communities

●      why awkwardness in real intimacy is normal

●      the difference between fantasy and connection

This is not a shame-based conversation. It’s a nuanced discussion about awareness, moderation, consent, emotional safety, and what healthy intimacy actually looks like in the real world.

Support the show

📌 Connect With Us
Trina Ricketts – The Intimate Ostomate
Website: intimateostomate.com
Instagram:   / intimateostomate 
Youtube:    / @intimateostomate 
Books, guides, coaching & resources
Coaching • Books / Guides • Resources • Intimacy Advocacy

Nicole Richards - Ostomy Innovations
Website: ostomyinnovations222.com
Instagram:   / ostomyinnovations 
Youtube:    / @ostomyinnovations222 
Coaching • Wellness • Disability advocacy • Ostomy Clothing