We hoped this book would get better. We really did. Partially because we’re optimists, and partially because we had no idea that there was a 100+ page sex-torture subplot.

The second half of Wizard’s First Rule features less walking and more magical coincidences. The good guys defeat the bad guys using all the skill, courage, and super convenient plot devices they could muster. Oh, and the bad guy is secretly the good guy’s father. How original.

As excited as we are to learn about the wizard’s second through Nth rules, we’ll probably stop here. It was kinda fun at times, but all the dragon riding and spell casting is way diminished by the scene where the guy eats his own balls. Seriously. The wizard’s first rule should be “The world is super gross.”