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Aw jeez, I'm real sorry to take up your time. Y'see I'm Lt. Columbo, and I just need to ask you a few questions.

It's the early '70s and I'm a detective in Los Angeles. Every week some famous '70s star who you might not recognize, but they look kind of familiar, see, they kill someone, takes 'em about 20 minutes, then for an hour or so they try and get away with it.

Great stars, you get Dick van Dyke, Donald Pleasence, Johnny Cash, aw, you're gonna love it. And they always underestimate me, the Grandpa from Princess Bride.

But there's a good twist and bam, sooner or later, I crack the case. Maybe it's my rumpled, disarming affect. I'm sorry for wasting your time.

And one more thing... if you liked this, you might just take up the case of Columbo."

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