Why Apple wants Beats by Doctor Dre — and it isn't for the wide bottom end. Spring is in the air — and so are airborne sneeze droplets. We'll look at the science behind the schnoz. Our new favourite website: spurious correlations. We'll tell you why you shouldn't be alarmed by a rise in the divorce rate and sales of margarine. A drag queen with a full beard wins Eurovision. We'll explain. As best we can. Plus: the leaked Beyonce/Jay Z concert rider too good to be believed. Unless you're a Macbook wielding Midget looking for work.

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