With all the training and travel, my body likes to fight back at times. So yeah, I know what is like to fight those internal battles. Yet somehow I'm still calm and don't make others deal with my obstacles. Instead, I analyzed my bodies reactive patterns and learned skills that help me move through these moments to get to a better position. And yes, there are days like today where that skill gets tested every couple minutes. When I stopped wishing it would go away and started accepting it just gives me practice on my skills, my life dramatically changed.

Give a researcher long enough and they will give you plenty of reasons to explain why breathing is bad and why your parents are the reason your lungs now have to live with the trauma of air coming into them. Sounds ridiculous, right? So does blaming your parents for you wanting your house to be clean. Your parents weren't perfect. That doesn't mean everything they did was wrong. The way you do things is not always a response to a negative event. Take responsibility for your life. If you have the ability to blame your parents, you also have the ability to make a change. Do that.

I had to put this stuff into practice today. I didn't need to be obnoxious, rude, or try to be anything more than subtle. That wasn't the time nor the place. I also knew I didn't want to be part of their negative spiral, so I simply introduced myself as soon as there was a lull in their conversation. That put an end to the discussion. It wasn't my role to try and change them, but that didn't mean I needed to be complicit in their negativity by not speaking up in a sense. I found a way to do that subtly while not burning any bridges with my actions.

Think about this during your next conversation. Are you simply talking about people? Events? Ideas? You'll have your answer soon enough.

If you just chase success, you're likely to lose yourself. Chase being the one that adds value to those around you. That's the real win. And success will find you anyway.

When you push through and find a way through a challenging moment, something inside you changes forever. Did deep and push through. You'll know it in the end.

Well, I actually did better in one area I wasn't sure was up to par. It was another area I wasn't expecting that created more problems for me today. Those fails, at the end of the obstacle, cost me energy and time for both the attempt at the obstacle and the penalty loop I had to do to pay for the failure. Again, I'm only looking to identify the things I have control over changing. That's the only thing I can address.

This goes back to my distinction of excuses and reasons. I'm looking at things I did or didn't do to prepare myself for this challenge. All the things I'm looking at are things in my control. Choices I made prior to the event and choices I'll need to make going forward. A review of training methods and how these goals of mine fit together, if you will. There's a big difference there.

The longer you ignore the emotion, the longer it delays your growth. I don't need to continue laying blame on this lady for anything. Her actions created real danger. My nervous system responded with action while experiencing fear. She didn't cause my bodies response, she only laid out the conditions for me to perceive and respond to. By acknowledging this and accepting that reality, I'm able to learn from the experience and not let it control me from here on out.

True character is revealed when shit hits the fan. You can't know your true nature until then. You only know what you want yourself to be.