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In this episode of Rise Up and Live, Vicky is joined by holistic therapist Ben Barnett for a thoughtful and deeply human conversation about healing, personal transformation, and the wisdom of the body.

Ben has spent more than 30 years working in holistic therapy, combining physical bodywork with energy work, coaching, and a deep understanding of how our emotional experiences shape the way we live in our bodies. As a Reiki Master Practitioner, auricular acupuncturist, and specialist in therapeutic bodywork, his approach goes far beyond simply treating symptoms.

Together, Vicky and Ben explore what it really means to heal beyond the surface.

They discuss how early childhood experiences can quietly shape our beliefs, relationships, and sense of self, and how many of the patterns we carry into adulthood began as strategies to help us survive emotionally difficult environments.

In this conversation you’ll hear about:

• how the body often reveals what the mind tries to hide
 • the emotional patterns that can shape relationships and identity
 • why healing is not about fixing something that is broken
 • how awareness allows us to release old patterns and create new possibilities
 • the difference between trying to heal the past and transforming the present

Ben also shares his own Rise Up story — the personal insights that changed the way he understood himself, his relationships, and the way he works with clients today.

This is a conversation about awareness, compassion, and the powerful realisation that many of the struggles we carry may have begun with ideas about ourselves that were never truly ours.

If you want to follow Ben or get in touch with him, here are his social media links:

https://www.instagram.com/ben_barnett_htbb?igsh=bjRmdzFuOXQwOWo1

https://www.facebook.com/share/1DUx8d8K4p/

https://youtube.com/@htbybenbarnett?si=iCVPKVjt7cCtUXEU

And for access to Alchemy of Being:

https://thealchemyofbeing.me/

Referenced in this episode:

Ben mentions a powerful video illustrating how early experiences shape behaviour and self-soothing patterns.

You can watch it here:
 https://youtu.be/XY9vY1dh7n8

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

If You Could Choose a Life to Live… Would You Choose the One You’ve Got?

Most people spend years trying to improve themselves.

They analyse their thinking.
 They try to regulate their emotions.
 They push themselves to build better habits.

But what if the real issue isn’t you?

What if the real question is whether the life you're adapting to was ever consciously chosen in the first place?

In this episode of Rise Up, Vicky Ross explores a powerful and uncomfortable question:

If you could choose a life to live… would you choose the one you’ve got?

Together we explore:

• Why people often try to change themselves to fit a life that doesn’t align with them
 • How childhood meaning-making shapes identity and life choices
 • The difference between the protective voice of fear and the deeper voice of truth
 • Why wanting to “do nothing” may actually be a sign of mental exhaustion
 • The reflective questions that can help you reconnect with the life you would truly choose

This episode invites you to pause, reflect, and ask yourself a deeper question:

Are you trying to improve yourself… or are you trying to survive a life that doesn’t fit you?

If this episode resonates, you’re warmly invited to explore these ideas further inside Vicky’s membership community.

Links are in the show notes.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

Many people wake up in their 40s and quietly think:

This isn’t the life I imagined.

Not because life is terrible.
 But because something feels… misaligned.

You’ve done what was expected.
 You’ve built something responsible.
 You’ve achieved things.

And yet a quiet question appears:

How did I get here?

In this episode, Vicky explores why feeling lost is rarely about lacking direction — it’s about losing connection with who you truly are.

You’ll discover:

• Why many people feel unfulfilled after achieving what they thought they wanted
• How childhood expectations quietly shape the life we build
• The difference between external success and inner alignment
• Why you can’t actually “lose yourself”
• A powerful shift that helps you reconnect with direction and purpose

If you’ve ever felt like you’re going through the motions rather than living your life intentionally, this conversation may help you see yourself — and your path — differently.

Because feeling lost is not failure.

Sometimes it’s the moment you start remembering who you really are.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

What if the thought isn’t the starting line? We dig into the deeper engine of change: the importance you assign to ideas, how meaning becomes identity, and why clarity and self-trust transform behaviour more reliably than forcing habits or chanting affirmations. This is a practical, compassionate guide to seeing the hidden choices shaping your life and shifting them without drama.

We start by challenging the common loop of results, actions and thoughts, asking instead: what made that thought important? When importance sets, it organises perception, narrows or widens what you notice, and quietly shapes your identity. From there, we explore how childhood meanings — often borrowed from other people’s fears — still run adult choices. You’ll hear why we do what we want rather than what we need, why “positive thinking” often signals unmet pain, and how fear hides in believable phrases like “I forgot” or “I don’t know,” stalling growth while sounding reasonable.

Then we move to the lever that actually shifts behaviour: trust. Quiet self-trust calms the nervous system, widens perception, and makes new actions available without force. We ground this in evidence from your own life — the hardships you’ve already survived — and show how remembering your resilience changes what you make important today. You’ll learn a simple, repeatable practice: notice one behaviour without fixing it, complete the sentence “this means X because Y” to reveal your drivers, and ask, “if I trusted myself, what would I do differently here?” These micro-shifts soften identity and update action naturally.

Along the way, we connect language, personality and results: the way you speak to yourself becomes the world you move through. Awareness precedes choice; when you can see the thought before it becomes emotion and hear the tone before it becomes identity, you no longer need pressure to change. You need clarity. If this sparked a pause, a new question, or relief, share it with someone who might need it, and subscribe, rate and review to help more listeners find it. 

Ready to go deeper? Check the show notes for ways to work together and continue the journey.

You can work with me privately, where we explore the meaning shaping your behaviour and consciously redesign how you respond and live.

Or you can join my membership — a community for ongoing growth,  awareness, integration, and real-time application of this work. 

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

Both options are designed to move you from insight into lived change.

Here's to your success

Vicky

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

Ever feel like your habits have a mind of their own? We dig into why repeated patterns persist even when you’re determined to change, and why willpower is the wrong place to start. Instead of flogging yourself for weak discipline or shaky motivation, we map the hidden chain that drives behaviour: the thought you mark as important, the internal dialogue it triggers, and the body state that locks it in.

We unpack how the unconscious treats vivid thoughts as real, how mood flips your self-talk from resourceful to ruthless, and how physiology aligns with the story you’re telling yourself. From skipped workouts to last‑minute tax panic, we show why action-only fixes fail: you’re pushing on the final domino. You’ll learn fast, practical ways to break the loop by changing state first—posture shifts, slow breathing, movement, even a splash of cold water—to weaken the cycle and buy space for a better choice. Then, with the body calmer, you can examine the thought, edit the language, and choose the next smallest step that actually sticks.

We also share why emotions are essential for decisions, how precision language reduces threat, and why journaling works as evidence rather than just therapy. You’ll see how your phrasing reveals hidden rules, learn to test absolutes, and design supports where change begins, not where it ends. We close with a look ahead to part two: fear, identity, and why positive thinking only works under certain conditions—and what to do when it doesn’t.

If this resonated, subscribe and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Tell us the line in your self-talk you’re rewriting today, and share the state-change tool you’ll try first.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

What if the hardest parts of your past didn’t define you, but the meaning you gave them did? We dig into the quiet mechanics of interpretation—how the mind assigns stories to keep us safe, why those stories become identity, and how to step out of a prison built from protection. Without minimising loss or trauma, we show how to separate the fact of an event from the lens that formed around it, and why that lens can be revised when you’re ready to live from power rather than fear.

Together we trace the journey from survival meaning to sovereignty. You’ll hear why two people can share an experience and carry away entirely different lives, how the nervous system craves order, and how memory can trick the body into reacting as if the past is still present. We challenge the tempting bypass of nothing matters—a stance that looks enlightened but simply swaps one cage for another—and offer a grounded alternative: collapse the limiting interpretation, keep the wisdom, and choose a meaning aligned with who you are now.

This conversation is practical and deeply human. We ask the only question that cuts through labels: is what I’m doing giving me the outcome I want? If not, it’s time to re‑author the story: rebuild trust from the inside out, redefine safety as capacity plus boundaries, and make choices from your throne rather than from an old alarm bell. You are not the wound, not the ego defending it, and not the body reliving a memory. You are the awareness that chooses meaning—and that choice is where deliberate life design begins.

If this resonates, join our Rise Up membership or work with us one‑to‑one to examine survival stories, dismantle unconscious meanings, and reclaim authorship from sovereignty. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people rise up and live on their terms.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

Why do conversations go wrong — even when you’re sure you’ve explained yourself clearly?

Most communication breakdowns aren’t caused by poor wording.
 They’re caused by stress, perception, and nervous system reactions.

In this episode, Vicky explores why tone leaks state, how the brain distorts meaning under pressure, and why “better communication” is not a behaviour you can implement.

You’ll discover:

• Why people hear criticism when none was intended
 • How stress changes what we perceive
 • The hidden reason people disengage in relationships and teams
 • A simple three-layer framework to clean up misunderstandings
 • The one question that instantly reduces conflict

This episode is for anyone who wants to improve their relationships, leadership, influence, or emotional awareness.

Because communication isn’t just about being right.

It’s about creating understanding that actually lands.

If you’re ready to go deeper into awareness, behaviour, and conscious living, you can explore Vicky’s Inner Circle membership community or book a discovery call via her website.

🎧 Listen now and start changing the way you experience conversations.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

So many people move through life appearing capable, calm, and in control — while underneath, something is quietly wearing them down.

In this episode of Rise Up, I explore what happens when survival becomes a way of life. When “being strong” turns into holding everything together at the cost of your health, your peace, and your sense of self.

We look at the difference between breaking down, breaking open, and breaking through — and why some people reach a crisis point while others use discomfort as an invitation to change. I talk about how stress, emotional suppression, and long-term misalignment can show up as exhaustion, illness, anxiety, or a deep sense of emptiness, even when life looks fine on the outside.

This conversation isn’t about fixing yourself or judging how you’ve coped. What you’ve been living with is understandable. It’s justified. And it makes sense.

But it’s also an invitation.

An invitation to stop surviving.
 To stop carrying what was never meant to be carried alone.
 And to begin recognising who you are beneath the patterns that once kept you safe.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “holding it together” — and wondering how long you can keep doing that — this episode is for you.

Here is to your success,
 Love Vicky

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

What if the love we feel turns into a quiet form of control? We take a clear-eyed look at concern—when it’s a vital act of care and when it slips into psychological worry that spikes stress, breeds resentment, and unintentionally blocks the growth of the people we care about. With simple language and grounded stories, we draw the line between real-world support for genuine vulnerability and the anxious impulse to manage someone else’s inner life.

Together we unpack the hidden bargain that often drives rescuing: I will overfunction, and you will validate me. When that validation doesn’t arrive, bitterness swells and relationships strain. We explore how identities like helper, fixer, and saviour form, why they feel so compelling, and the subtle message they send—“You can’t handle this without me.” From there, we dive into the body’s side of the story: chronic concern as chronic stress, the addictive chemistry of anxiety, and how worry rehearses catastrophe without improving outcomes.

The heart of the conversation is trust. Not blind optimism, but the steady belief that we and those we love can respond to reality as it unfolds. We share practical shifts to move from obligation to choice: pausing before you step in, asking if there’s true vulnerability, naming what your concern gives you, and replacing controlling check-ins with empowering invitations. You’ll learn how to support without stealing experience, create space for mistakes and learning, and rebuild connection that honours both capacity and care.

If you’re tired of carrying everyone’s lives on your shoulders, this is your permission slip to set the cape down. Tune in to rethink concern, reclaim your nervous system, and practise the kind of trust that lightens relationships and strengthens resilience. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a friend who overhelps, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking forward.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send a text

Venting feels like relief in the moment — but what if it’s actually training your brain to stay stuck?

In this episode, I unpack what’s really happening in the brain when we repeatedly vent about the same situation. The brain is a pattern-recognition machine. When it hears the same story over and over, it doesn’t interpret it as a problem to solve — it interprets it as something important to keep available.

That’s when access becomes easier, emotional charge increases, and what I often call “bad brain juice” gets reinforced.

You’ll hear about:

• Why repetition tells the brain “this matters — keep it ready”
• How venting strengthens neural pathways instead of releasing them
• The role of the unconscious mind — and why it doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality
• How replaying emotional stories conditions your nervous system as if they’re happening again
• Why venting can quietly lock you into the very state you want to escape

This episode isn’t about suppressing emotion — it’s about understanding how the brain works so you can stop feeding patterns that no longer serve you.

If you’ve ever wondered why talking things out doesn’t always bring freedom, this conversation will shift how you relate to your inner world.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here:

https://vickyross.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1171591/?action=signup

or visit my website:

https://www.vickyross.com/

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky