The tyrant Dong Zhuo now rules over China with a knife-catching fist. Lu Bu, hero among heroes, acts like a dirtbag. Cao Cao overreaches. Xuande chickens out of responsibility. Zhang Fei acts rashly. Lord Guan gets things done. Sun Jian lies his ass off. Yes, everyone is 100% on their bullshit in this set of chapters, as the crumbling Han empire changes hands once more, and a covenant is formed to save it. Spoilers: yo that covie don't LAST.

If you want to contact us on Twitter, Em is at @em_being, Jackson is at @headfallsoff, Jen is at @jbu3, and Six is at @sixdettmar. Our art is placeholder, we'll get some real art soon! The intro music for this episode is Superior from Dynasty Warriors 3, and the ending theme is Reunification from Romance of the Three Kingdoms 2 for NES.