Xuande is dead! Well, ok. Xuande's been dead for a long time. But now Emperor BEI is ALSO dead! The rise of Emperor Shan is actually the rise of Prime Minister Kongming. An envoy repeatedly threatens to boil himself, a rebellion in the Riverlands is ?sort of? suppressed, and Cao Pi continues to be just the lamest.

If you want to contact us on Twitter, Em is at @em_being, Jackson is at @headfallsoff, Jen is at @jbu3, and Six is at @sixdettmar. Our art is made by @saltysprout! The intro music for this episode is United Must Divide from Total War: Three Kingdoms, and our outtro music is Look Back On Your Way from Dynasty Warriors 4.