• Paul was in Corinth when he wrote Romans. The first four chaps of Corinthians talks a lot about getting along (unity). Romans 12 shows us how to do it.

• vs 1 - Foundation -- Worship leads to Winning.

• ** When we properly WORSHIP God in a spiritual relationship we WIN w/others in earthly relationships. How?

• Sacrifice - The foundation of all relationships is a willingness to surrender.

• We are to be the living dead - alive but dead (don't let your body or soul rule you).

• vs 2a - In order to be the living dead we need to transform.

• We change at the level of identity.

• Our brain has to catch up with our new identity through renewal.

• Renounce / Replace takes place in the MIND! This is healthy thinking.

• ** Healthy people thinking healthy thoughts have healthy relationships.

• vs 2b - Healthy thinking allows us to see as God sees (we will know His will).

• vs 3 - Healthy thinking people are humble.

• Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, but yourself less - putting others first.

• vs 4-5 - Humble people accept others (vs 5).

• Acceptance is the lifeblood of intimacy.

• Belonging is one of our core human needs.

• This verse says, "I accept you because you belong to me and I belong to you!"

• vs 6-9 - We're all different - prophet, servant, teacher, encourager, giver, leader, merciful.

• Healthy thinkers accept people for who they are.

• vs 9a - Love is the foundation for acceptance.

• "Without hypocrisy" - You shouldn’t say one thing and think/feel another.

• vs 9b - True love involves compassion with standards.

• We don’t love someone if we are secretly enjoying evil.

• vs 10a - "Brotherly love" - familial love is not based on performance.

• No bad behavior can change your love for family.

• vs 10b - Honor - do what you know they want and need w/out having to be asked.

• Honor communicates PRIORITY.

• The best relationships are serving competitions.

• “You go first…” “No, you go first…” Try to outdo each other.

• vs 11 - Love naturally grows cold if you don’t proactively stoke it.

• Zeal = enthusiasm / fervent = passionate, servant-hearted as unto the Lord…

• vs 12 - be hopeful, patient when things get hard, prayerful…

• vs 13 - be generous and welcoming.

• vs 14 - Bless those who treat you bad.

• vs 15-16a - One of the key signs of a successful marriage is “Shared Meaning.”

• Be on the same team, sharing in joys and sorrows.

• Have the same goals, share the same dream - you’ll naturally grow close.

• vs 16b - reminder to be humble, get down into the other person's situation.

• vs 17 - reminder to not react when treated poorly.

• 5:1 ratio - you need to make 5 positive comments to one negative.

• 20:1 ratio - the healthiest couples are in this range.

• vs 18 - Behave like what he's listed above and there will most likely be peace.

• Acceptance is the foundation for peace.

• vs 19 - one more encouragement to not react to mistreatment.

• Trust God to handle the situation and you will not sin.

• vs 20 - respond to evil with good.

• An enemy is someone who’s crossed your boundaries.

• Spouses must erect, communicate, and honor boundaries.

• vs 21 - this is the 4th time Paul has mentioned this - the only way to combat evil is by doing good.

• You have to be on OFFENSE if you want healthy relationships.

• When you respond to evil with good it gets you out of your vicious cycle of contention.