Room 1969

What if the person who's been rejecting you for the last twenty years is you?

Think about that. Someone broke your heart. You made a terrible decision. You lost money. You did something you wish you could take back.

Everyone else may have moved on. But you're still showing up to punish yourself for it.

How long are you going to keep holding your past against yourself?

In this episode of Room 1969, I share what happened when my personal story, Operation Zelda, stirred up some rather strong opinions about my younger self. Some people loved it. Others were furious.

Thirty years ago, that kind of judgment might have affected me differently. Today, I've done enough work on myself to know that somebody else's opinion doesn't have to become my truth.

And I refuse to reject the younger woman I once was.

We talk about the mistakes we carry, the relationships we regret, the money we've lost, and the stories we continue telling ourselves long after everyone else has moved on.

At what point does taking responsibility for your past become a life sentence?

I've made some spectacular mistakes. I've hurt people, lost money, failed, and made decisions I wouldn't make today. I've also done some pretty wonderful things.

Both can be true.

You can hold yourself accountable without spending the rest of your life punishing yourself. You can regret a decision without rejecting the woman who made it.

So here's my question: If you've learned, changed, and taken responsibility, why are you still holding it against yourself?

Someone else can reject you. You don't have to join them.

Don't lie to yourself.

PA xx

Room 1969 with PA

Why are we so worried about being misunderstood by people who don't even understand themselves?

Or being liked by people who might not even like themselves?

Think about how many decisions you've talked yourself out of because of what somebody might think.

Sometimes nobody has even said anything. We've made up the entire conversation in our heads.

In this episode of Room 1969, I talk about the price of being liked, why other people's discomfort doesn't necessarily mean you're making the wrong decision, and how easily we hand over authority over our own lives.

I share the story of calling off my wedding two weeks before it was supposed to happen, despite the expectations, the money already spent, and the people who didn't understand.

Being liked can become very expensive. It can cost you opportunities, experiences, years of your life, and eventually your relationship with yourself.

You can love people and still disappoint them. You can change your mind. Want more. Make decisions nobody understands.

So here's my question:

If they never approve, never understand, and never tell you they're proud of you, would you still do it?

Because at some point, you have to decide whose life you're actually living.

Don't lie to yourself.

PA

How many more years are you willing to negotiate with yourself about something you already know you want?

Maybe you're waiting until you've saved enough money.

Or UNTIL work settles down, you lose ten pounds.

UNTIL you meet someone to go with.

Or my favourite, UNTIL you finally feel ready.

Here's the thing: We can become so damn good at preparing for our lives that we forget we're supposed to be living them.

In this episode of Room 1969, I talk about the difference between consciously choosing to wait and endlessly postponing something because we're afraid to begin.

I share why I stopped waiting to feel like a writer and simply started writing my book.

Zero lessons. I didn't have a perfect plan either.

Just showing up, even when I didn't know what I was doing.

A year later, I'd finished the manuscript.

Life is messy. I've failed, lost people, ended relationships and started over.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the perfect time rarely arrives.

So here's my question: Are you genuinely not ready, or are you waiting to stop being afraid?

You don't need to change your entire life this week. Just take one action toward something you've wanted for years.

Because maybe the question isn't whether you're ready.

It's how much longer you're willing to wait.

Don't lie to yourself.

PA xx

Maybe You Don’t Need a New Life

Maybe you don’t need to blow everything up.

Maybe you just need to come back to yourself.

In this episode of Room 1969, we talk about that feeling that something is missing—and why it doesn't always mean you need a new relationship, career, city or completely different life.

Sometimes you need more curiosity. More desire. More fun. More of the things that make you feel like YOU again.

Before you change everything, ask yourself:

What part of me have I stopped living?

Maybe you don't need a new life.

Maybe you need to feel alive in the one you already have.

Your Appetite Is Trying to Tell You Something

What if wanting more isn't the problem?

What if your appetite is actually trying to tell you something?

In this episode of Room 1969, we talk about the desires, ideas and curiosities that keep resurfacing—and why constantly talking yourself out of them doesn't necessarily make them disappear.

Maybe you want more money. More freedom. More sex. More adventure. More creativity. More life.

You don't have to act on every desire.

But you should probably stop pretending you don't have it.

Your appetite is information.

Pay attention.

Curiosity Is More Powerful Than Confidence

What if you don’t need more confidence?

What if you just need to get curious?

Confidence asks you to believe you can do something before you've done it. Curiosity only asks you to take the next step and see what happens.

In this episode of Room 1969, we talk about why curiosity can take you places confidence never will—and why staying curious may be one of the most powerful ways to keep expanding as you get older.

You don't have to know where something will lead.

Follow what interests you. See where it takes you.

The One Desire Experiment

What do you want?

Not ten things. Not a five-year plan.

One desire.

In this episode of Room 1969, we talk about choosing one thing you genuinely want and doing something about it.

Because desire without action stays fantasy.

The experiment is simple: name one desire, stop overthinking it, and take one small action that moves you toward it.

You don’t need certainty.

You need movement.

Why Do Women Stop Wanting Things?

When was the last time you admitted what you actually wanted?

Not what made sense. Not what was practical. Not what everyone else needed from you. What did you want?

In this episode of Room 1969, I talk about how women slowly become fluent in everyone else's desires while forgetting their own—and why guilt, permission and years of putting ourselves last can make wanting something for ourselves feel selfish.

I share the story of buying the Porsche I'd wanted since I was ten—and barely driving it—and the very different moment at 21 when I listened to myself and called off my wedding two weeks before it happened.

Maybe your desires haven't disappeared.

Maybe you've just stopped listening to them.

This week, don't judge what you want. Just notice it.

Because the woman who stopped wanting things isn't gone.

She's been waiting for you to ask her again: What do you actually want?

How to Stop Playing Small

Where have you been shrinking?

Big lives aren't built through one enormous decision. They're built through hundreds of tiny moments where you choose yourself instead of your fear.

In this episode of Room 1969, I’m making this practical. I’m giving you a seven-day experiment to start noticing where you've been playing small—and do one thing every day that makes you feel a little more fucking alive.

Wear the outfit. Book the trip. Raise your rates. Have the difficult conversation. Dance in your kitchen. Close one of those tabs you've had open in your life for far too long.

This isn't about productivity or blowing up your life.

It's about practicing choosing a life that pulls you toward it.

Because you don't build a bigger life in one decision.

You build it by refusing to abandon yourself in the small ones.

The Lie Women Are Told

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't your age?

What if it's the story you've accepted about what this stage of life is supposed to look like?

Somewhere along the way, women are taught that getting older means becoming smaller. Smaller dreams. Smaller risks. Smaller desires. Smaller voices.

I don't buy it.

In this episode of Room 1969, we're talking about aging, desire, visibility, curiosity, wanting more—and why restlessness might not mean something is wrong with you.

Maybe it's information.

Maybe your life is asking for expansion.

Instead of asking, “How do I age gracefully?”

I'm far more interested in asking:

How do I become more f*cking alive every year?

Welcome to Room 1969.