HAVE YOU READ THE ONE ABOUT THE 19-YEAR-OLD WHO GETS ABDUCTED AND HAS A BABY BY HER CAPTOR AND RAISES THAT CHILD FOR 5 MORE YEARS IN TOTAL ISOLATION WHILE SHE TRIES TO ESCAPE? IT'S PERFECT FOR PARTIES! WHICH IS *NOT* WHY OUR FIRST-EVER GUEST HAS READ IT LITERALLY THREE HUNDRED TIMES... 

P.S. RAMONA'S HEADPHONES DIDN'T WORK, SORRY FOR SOME WEIRD BACKGROUND WHITE NOISE :( I TRIED