Round the Way Britt

After a conversation with my girlfriends, I had a realization: some of the loudest resistance in my life has come from men. So, naturally, I got on the mic. A little venting, a little reckoning, and a lot of appreciation for the women in my corner.

Matriarchy, I’m ready when you are.

I don’t need people to tell me I’m good enough. Full stop.

A few notes from inside my head lately: I’m tired of being the firestarter. I want to be impressed. I want to be witnessed, not validated. I want things to matter without everything having to become something. And somewhere between craving community, wanting a little applause, and rolling my eyes at our obsession with succeeding and thriving, I realized…oh. The call might be coming from inside the house.

Ten minutes of thoughts I needed to get off my chest.

What if the life I keep complaining about is actually the life I worked my ass off to create?

I’ve spent years collecting degrees, experiences, lessons, and stories, only to look around and wonder how I ended up in a quiet little corner of the world, working a job that doesn’t always feel big enough for me. But maybe I’ve been looking through the wrong lens.

Maybe this isn’t where my ambition came to die. Maybe this is where I finally have the space, freedom, and autonomy to create without somebody breathing down my neck. Maybe I’m not waiting to become her anymore. Maybe I already did the work, laid the foundation, and arrived.

In this episode, I realize that I’m already living inside the just, BE. of it all. Now it may be time to stop griping, unclench a little, and let that girly shine.

I’m okay. I’m not okay. And I’m okay with not being okay.

This week has been a spiral, and I don’t have a neat little lesson or an uplifting ending for you. I’m tired. I’m sad. My house is a mess. Life feels messy. And today, I’m just documenting it.

Maybe this episode isn’t even for you. Maybe it’s just a report for my records…a timestamp I can come back to one day and say, damn…this is where I was in September 2026.

No cleanup. No breakthrough. No inspirational ending.

Just reporting live from where I am.

I broke things off with my person. Not because I wanted to hurt him, and not even because I was certain I wanted the relationship to end. I got scared. Things got uncomfortable, my emotions got loud, and instead of staying on the plane long enough to see if we could make it through the turbulence, I reached for the emergency exit.

Apparently, whenever there’s turbulence, my solution is to jump out of the plane. 

No parachute. No landing plan. Just vibes.

So “Might Not Make It” isn’t really about whether we will make it. Baby, I might not make it. Because at some point, I have to learn that discomfort isn’t always danger. Conflict isn’t always incompatibility. And wanting to escape a feeling doesn’t necessarily mean I need to escape the relationship.

This episode is me looking at my scaredy-cat tendencies, my tantrums, my impulse to run, and what it might mean to finally stay on the damn plane.

I want to honor my sadness today.

Not fix it. Not turn it into a breakthrough. Not schedule yoga, water my plants, take a nap and somehow optimize my way into feeling better tomorrow. I just want to let myself be sad.

Because I’m realizing how much easier it is to share happiness than sadness. We know what to do with joy. We celebrate it, post it, praise it. But grief? Sadness? Mourning? We’re always trying to rush those feelings somewhere else.

And maybe that’s especially hard for me right now because I’m grieving an identity. I knew how to love the Brittany who accomplished things. She produced. She pursued. She made shit happen. I knew how to exalt her.

But who am I when I’m not accomplishing?

Today, my outer world isn’t falling apart. Something inside of me is. Old attachments, old narratives and an old understanding of who I thought I had to be are coming undone.

And maybe sadness deserves some honor while that happens.

This episode is me leaning all the way into being a Certified Lover Girl….no shame, no trying to be too cool, and no worrying about whether the internet thinks loving somebody deeply makes you a pick-me, a simp, or whatever phrase we’ve come up with this week.

It's just about me really leaning into being a certified lover girl, and the guy that I'm in love with is definitely illuminating that and giving me the stage to really be the certified lover girl that I've worked hard to be, that I've planned to be, that l've said affirmations to be, and now it's a reality. 

Joe Dispenza says, “some people live inside the identity of their pain. Having insight into your past and always identifying with it is not liberation, that’s repetition”. 

Meeting my soul mate has been the most disruptive life experience ever. It’s excruciating because we are clearing out the junk I thought I healed by “doing the work” solo, dolo.

His love, peace and patience takes a sledgehammer to the shell/fortress I’ve built to protect myself. But in that perceived protection, I am hindering our connection. His presence is secure so much so I get to 

just, BE. 

So you met the man of your dreams.…

Now what?