Author and cultural observer, Roxane Gay, examines the landscape of the internet and our relationship with it. We discuss the line between constructive criticism and online toxicity; how to decide when to speak up and when to stay quiet; and how to stay human and allow redemption in an online world that demands perfection.

Plus, a breakdown of our shared unguilty pleasure: Naked Attraction.

About Roxane: 
Roxane Gay is the author of several books, including Ayiti, An Untamed State, New York Times bestsellers Bad Feminist and Hunger; and the national bestseller Difficult Women.

Her writing appears in Best American Mystery Stories, Best American Short Stories, Best Sex Writing, A Public Space, McSweeney’s, Tin House, Oxford American, American Short Fiction, Virginia Quarterly Review, and many others. She is a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times. 

She also has a newsletter, “The Audacity” – and once had a podcast, The Roxane Gay Agenda.

Her latest book, Opinions, is available now.

TW: @rgay
IG: @roxanegay74
 
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260. Roxane Gay: Should We Quit Social Media?

Life is freaking hard. We are all doing hard things every single day – things like loving and losing; caring for children and parents; forging and ending friendships; battling addiction, illness, and loneliness; struggling in our jobs, our marriages, and our divorces; setting boundaries; and fighting for equality, purpose, freedom, joy, and peace.
On We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon Doyle, author of UNTAMED; her wife Abby Wambach; and her sister Amanda Doyle do the only thing they’ve found that has ever made life easier: Drop the fake and talk honestly about the hard things including sex, gender, parenting, blended families, bodies, anxiety, addiction, justice, boundaries, fun, quitting, overwhelm . . . all of it.
We laugh and cry and help each other carry the hard so we can all live a little bit lighter and braver, free-er, less alone.

Society & Culture

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306. The Truth of OCD: Therapist Alegra Kastens on Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Therapist Alegra Kastens shares the truth about her lived experience with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) that is vital for all of us to understand. Detailing her own struggle, and work as an OCD specialist, Alegra helps demystify the relentless cycle of ego-dystonic, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and compulsions that define this often-misunderstood and under-diagnosed disorder – sharing why so many people have OCD and do not know it, and ways to support people with OCD without enabling and reinforcing the compulsions.

CW: Discussion of intrusive sexual and violent thoughts as well as suicidal ideation.

About Alegra:
Alegra Kastens is a licensed therapist, OCD specialist, writer, and the founder of the Center for OCD, Anxiety, and Eating Disorders in New York City. Fueled by lived experience with a lesser-known manifestation of OCD, education and advocacy about OCD are at the forefront of her career.

IG: @AlegraKastens
TikTok: @AlegraKastens
 
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The Truth of OCD: Therapist Alegra Kastens on Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

305. How to Self-Regulate, Heal Your Relationships & Accept That You’ll Never Be Finished 

As we continue the discussion on Busyness, Amanda, Glennon & Abby share more of their thoughts about the cult of Busyness – how buying into it shows up in you and your relationships, and how it leads to dysregulation and dissatisfaction in all areas of life. We go through the signs that might indicate you’re too busy and burnt out, how to know the difference between building a life and living a life, and why dysregulation can be a breadcrumb toward healing.

Discover: 
-Why the addiction of busyness will never be pointed out or helped by most people; 
-Why Abby says the idea of retirement is the greatest heist in human history; and
-The emotional breakdown Amanda had, which led to starting her healing journey.


Also check out:
304. Break Up with Busyness & Let Go of Your To-Do List
281. How Amanda Finally Calmed Her Brain & Her Letter from Love with Liz Gilbert 
261. How to Stretch Time with Jenny Odell
139. No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey
93. BURNOUT: Do You Feel Half Alive? with Emily and Amelia Nagoski 
 
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How to Self-Regulate, Heal Your Relationships & Accept That You’ll Never Be Finished

304. Break Up with Busyness & Let Go of Your To-Do List

Amanda delves into her relationship with Busyness and how she’s working through it. We’ll touch on topics such as the pervasive culture of busyness, productivity as a measure of self-worth, and the struggle to define personal boundaries and prioritize genuine happiness (after some hilarious banter between Glennon and Abby about how to deal with “disgusting” things in a relationship).

Discover: 
-Why Busyness is such a pervasive and oppressive cult for so many of us;
-How to decouple your self-esteem and identity from your productivity;
-The actionable tactic Amanda is using in her break up with Busyness; and
-How your pets prove that the religion of busyness is a lie. 

Check out these episodes, too:
281. How Amanda Finally Calmed Her Brain & Her Letter from Love with Liz Gilbert 
261. How to Stretch Time with Jenny Odell
139. No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey
93. BURNOUT: Do You Feel Half Alive? with Emily and Amelia Nagoski 
 
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Break Up with Busyness & Let Go of Your To-Do List

303. Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price 

Why are we so scared of laziness? How have we been convinced to tie our worthiness to busy-ness and how do we STOP and create lives we are excited to live?

Social psychologist and author, Devon Price, teaches us how we got bamboozled and sets us free from the Laziness Lie.

Discover:

-How to rest, reorient priorities, and say “No” to reclaim our time and energy and avoid burnout.
-Glennon asks Devin her favorite question: “What the hell is gender?”
-The importance of listening to dread and recognizing when something doesn’t feel right.
-Why resenting others for not doing enough often indicates that you're doing too much. 

Plus, Devon shares an exercise for reflecting on the moments when you felt most yourself and aligned with your values – in order to create more meaningful life experiences.

About Devon:
Devon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud Autistic person. His books include Unmasking Autism and Laziness Does Not Exist. His forthcoming book, Unlearning Shame, will be released in February 2024.

Devon’s research has appeared in journals such as the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the Journal of Positive Psychology. Devon’s writing has appeared in the Financial Times, HuffPost, The Los Angeles Times, Business Insider, and on PBS, NPR, MSNBC, and the BBC.

He lives in Chicago, where he serves as an assistant professor at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies.

TW: @drdevonprice
IG: @drdevonprice
 
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Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price

Glennon shares an encore conversation that she and Abby had with their favorite person and co-host: Amanda Doyle!

This episode, originally titled, How to Face Your Biggest Fear with Amanda Doyle, examines the relationships, decisions, and travels that led Amanda to today – from hitchhiking across Ireland, to prosecuting child sex offenders in Rwanda, to making the biggest decision of her life in an Ethiopian airport – they dive into Amanda’s lifelong fear of the ordinary.

About Amanda:
Amanda Doyle is Glennon Doyle’s Business Manager and co-host of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with her sister Glennon Doyle and sister-in-law Abby Wambach. She is Vice President, General Counsel, and a member of the Together Rising Board of Directors. In these roles, Amanda is responsible for overseeing and advising on legal matters, including risk management, policy development, and programmatic affairs, as well as cultivating new initiatives and relationships to strengthen the organization’s impact. A former attorney at the law firm of Hogan Lovells and Legal Fellow with International Justice Mission, Amanda lives in Falls Church, Virginia with her husband and two children.

 
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260. Roxane Gay: Should We Quit Social Media?

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