Intro: Salad bars, Sizzler, vaccine aftermath, resentful giving,
Let Me Run This By You: Mentorship, boundaries
Interview: We talk to Ryan Kitley about teaching theatre, coming to the work with a beginner's mind, and manifesting going "offer only".

FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Jen Bosworth Ramirez and Gina Pulice. We 

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00:00:11

Went to theatre school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand 

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00:00:15

It. 20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of 

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00:00:20

It all. We survived theater school and you will too, are we famous yet? 

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00:00:28

Probably. And very low profit margin on salads, but there used to be so many restaurants where it was that it was just like one enormous salad bar with everything you could possibly want and your sound and like really good little corn muffins. 

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00:00:44

You know, you know, I remember in the Midwest it was different because nobody eats salad really in the Midwest. I mean, when I was growing up, we didn't, and then there was a Sizzler salad bar and that mostly had like cheese Bleu, cheese, cheddar, cheese, and bacon and eggs, bacon bits crew times that was your salad and iceberg lettuce and some ice iceberg. If you're lucky and shredded carrots, like that was your salad. And I was just thinking of Sizzler. I actually really liked to Sizzler and go with my grandma and my great aunt and my freaking great aunt, Ruth, my grandma's sister would put popcorn shrimp in a napkin in her purse because it was all you can eat. 

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00:01:28

And she would take that shit home in a napkin, not even a Tupperware, not a napkin. She'd wrap all the popcorn shrimp in her bag. Oh my God. Bless her. That's awesome. And how you do it over there? 

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00:01:41

Well, I woke up in a fantastic mood. It's a beautiful sunny day. I think really that I, this is going to sound crazy, but I really think after my first vaccine, I think I was tired for one month because then I got my second one last week and I felt bad just for one day. And after that, I feel better than I have and like a month, I don't know what to make of that, but 

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00:02:07

I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I think that doesn't shock me. Like, I think you were probably fighting it off some form of the virus for 

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00:02:16

A month. Yeah, I think I was. And today's my mom's birthday, so yes, yes. Very cool. I'll I'll call her when we're done here. And yeah, so it was, everyone was coming up roses and then I got an email and, you know, I saw the email come through it and I thought I'm in a good mood. I don't want to read this email because I have a feeling it's going to take me off, but I'm trying to be better about responding to people in a timely fashion, because this is not a strength of mine. I mean, I'm the type of person I either get back to you the second I get your thing or like, it takes me six years. Okay. So I decided to be, I'll feel even better if I feel like I've just handled this. 

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00:03:00

And then of course I opened just this like Pandora's box of shit and Twinkies. It was terrible. And you know, that aside here's, here's where I'm at and my life. I'm trying to look at these S I'm, I'm trying to stop looking at these experiences and such a, like a micro fashion and think about like how this person is hurting my feelings or how their wrong and I'm right away. And instead I want to make it like a growing a learning moment, a teaching moment for myself about like what my tendencies are and why am I getting angry and resentful and keeping myself in check about like how I do things, which is good. And I mean, 

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00:03:40

That's the only way to stay sane. I think, I think 

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00:03:43

The only way to stay, stay. And so, and, and, and, you know, not that I never realized this before, but it's really hitting home. Like if you have clearly defined values and every decision you make is, is guided by that. I mean, not to say it's always so conscious. Mostly it's probably unconscious, but when there's a conflict or something like that, and somebody is questioning something that you did, if you check in with yourself and you say, wait, if I were in that person's shoes, like on the other side of this power dynamic, I think I would be fine with what I'm doing. I still think what I did is fine, but what happens? 

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00:04:24

The, the flip side of people pleasing is resentment. Totally because this per hangar support, okay, take one too. And because this person who's giving me a hard time, what they don't know is that I'm, I've poisoned them. And that I, that I anonymously provided financial support to them. Oh, okay. So here's the thing that, that, so that's an example of, of people-pleasing and resentment. I, I, it's not like I loved this person, but I knew that this person needed a little help. 

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00:05:09

And I found a way that I could do it anonymously that wasn't gonna be, make them feel ashamed. And so I did it. And, and now when I'm getting a hard time, my impulse is to say, I, after what I did after what I've done for you, and that's the phrase after what I've done for you, the miniature here that coming out of your mouth, no, you're doing something wrong. 

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00:05:35

Yes. I was just going to say, this is the epitome of how I, I spent probably most of my time until recently is saying like, I, my version of that is very similar to like I did so good. I tried so hard and you screwed me over. And mind borders goes then into feeling sorry for myself and resentful. But instead of it turns to like, I, this always happens to me. I always try and look what happened. So anyway, continue. So absolutely 

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00:06:09

Everything you just said. I totally relate to, those are also things that I have said to myself and it's no good. It poisons the well of my own good vibes. And, and, you know, I've said many times in here, I don't think the answer is to only have good vibes, but I also don't think the only answer is to, you know, be a swishing about like a plastic bag and the wind based on who, how if somebody is accepting or rejecting you at any given moment. So yeah. So I'm guess you do. So I wrote a response this has to do with this organization that I'm a part of. And I wrote a re I wrote, I drafted something that I sent to the other, my cohort, you know, the other leaders and the group to, you know, to get feedback about S w which is good, because I didn't just send it so smart, which is what I wanted to do. 

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00:07:06

Yeah. And, and the thing about, yeah, so I showed, this is what, this is all it is. I'm just meditating about my desire. And also it's all very...