Kuldrin’s Krypt: A BDSM 101 Podcast
S01E16-Online Play & Relationships
5/15/2017
Intro: Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. Joining us today and every episode hereafter is my new co-host, Funsize. Today we’ll be discussing online BDSM, and relationships. Many newcomers to the lifestyle are part of the online scene, as well as several veterans these days. So Funsize, you've got a bit more experience in this area than I do, what exactly is online play?
Online BDSM and play is a way for people to connect and learn safely and sometimes more conveniently than in real life. It’s setting up a virtual scene and while some choose to use cams, or pictures, mostly it’s carried out various chat and instant messaging forums, sometimes even through texting.
What makes it safer or more convenient?
Well for newbies to the lifestyle it’s safer because it’s a way for them to learn and experience, often for the first time, a scene. This doesn’t mean there aren’t dangers or risks in online play, but it does change things.
When you say there are risks, what kinds of risks?
Well, online as with every where, there are predators. With online play, particularly in chat rooms, the risks of running into these predators increases. Many have been known to even stalk certain online communities.
How would you classify an online predator?
Usually online predators will behave one of two ways when they start out. They will either start off very sweet, feigning ‘feelings’ that progress very quickly, unreasonably so, or they will instantly ask you to partake in a scene, typically either ignoring or not even bothering with limits or negotiations, and you may feel pressured into a situation that may not be quite comfortable. Other behaviors they may exhibit is asking for pictures, cams, face times, tasks to be carried out, some even want your home or cell phone numbers. Many predators like this will also react badly if you try to put a stop to their behavior, using classic abusive tendencies; guilt, bullying, lying, and even intimidation. They’re different from the fake or instas in that they know what they are doing and push past people’s limits and personal boundaries for their own selfish gains. And I think what throws most people is that it’s not just Doms that can be predators, subs can be too.
Subs?
Submissive predators are just as dangerous as any others out there, and exhibit a lot of the same behaviors.
Wow lots to look out for out there. Alright, back to what you said about it being more convenient?
Well for one thing it’s easier to meet people. With the spread of the internet, the flow of communication has grown, and BDSM has stepped out of the proverbial closet, and with it thousands of people are able to connect and be a part of this community like never before. Now you can “meet” someone online that’s across town or halfway around the world. It’s more convenient for finding the right person or people that way. You can also spend months vetting your potential partners before ever meeting face to face. And of course there’s the ease created for those of us with more complicated situations. Marriage, children, personal personas, and ours jobs may keep us from living the lifestyle 24/7, and virtual reality can help with that. It’s a way that many of us can live and have our needs fulfilled when we otherwise couldn’t.
I have a friend who takes advantage of this facet of online play in just this way. He has a vanilla marriage, and a high profile career, so online play is really his only outlet currently. His needs are still there, so he has an online only submissive, she’s discreet, and they’re...