This week we ask the hard-hitting questions nobody else dares: was Rashford actually impressive for England, has he now forgotten about his ex, us? Should Maguire sneak into the squad ahead of Dan Burn, or is that just football’s version of musical chairs? We debate whether Monday nights are a blessing or a curse for United and whether Joao Gomes is worth raiding Wolves for. Amorim’s first year gets a cheeky review, we compare who blew their record sales best (United, Spurs or Newcastle), and we wonder if Casemiro deserves a contract extension or just a comfy retirement plan. Finally, we set expectations for United’s next five games, spoiler: optimism levels vary wildly depending on alcohol intake.