What can we say about this offensively misconceived slice of Jerry Lee Lewis's late-'50s life, one that casts his "relationship" (ugh) with his 13-year-old cousin (blerf) as a quirkumstance of romantical fate? Well, we can say cocaine was involved; we can wonder if the estate of Foghorn Leghorn sued Dennis Quaid's performance for copyright infringement; and we can admire Winona Ryder's performance as Myra Gale while thinking it makes the story immeasurably ickier. On a scale of one to Hasselhoff, we give DQ's effort a (NC-)17, but very little about this bowdlerization of Myra Gale's memoir works. Also, "Alec Baldwin as Jimmy Swaggart." MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVER'BUDDEH!

Overall score: 3

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