Michael McRay welcomes Karla McLaren, award-winning author and emotional researcher whose work has fundamentally reshaped how many understand inner life and emotional intelligence. Karla shares how her journey into emotions began not as academic pursuit but as survival. When severe childhood abuse left her with intense emotions that no one around her would acknowledge or discuss, Karla was forced to decode the language of emotions on her own. This conversation challenges fundamental assumptions about emotions, particularly the myth of "positive" versus "negative" feelings. They explore how gender stereotypes allow men anger but punish them for it, while women can express sadness but face consequences for that too. The discussion reveals how most people can instantly recall emotion-shaming messages but struggle to remember any emotion-welcoming ones, highlighting our culture's fundamental discomfort with feelings. In this episode, they also discuss:

• How Karla learned to study emotions like a language, observing patterns across humans and animals to understand what triggers each emotion and how beings respond
• Why the categories of "positive" and "negative" emotions miss the point
• The critical distinction between healthy shame that arises internally to maintain our values versus toxic shame imposed from outside that creates impossible standards
• How anxiety combines with panic in "panxiety" during high-stress situations

Coming Up Soon

• Part two with Karla McLaren, researcher and author of "The Art of Empathy" and "The Language of Emotions"
• STORY 2025 - October 9th and 10th in Nashville, TN at the Schermerhorn (use code PODCAST100 for $100 your ticket)
• Experiential Narrative Practice certification training - October 6th-8th
• Michael's book "The Wild Way: Navigating the Space Between the Old Story and the New" releasing in October

Resources Mentioned

• Karla McLaren
• Embracing Anxiety, The Art of Empathy and The Language of Emotions
• Empathy Academy
• Enjoying these conversations? Join The Circle!