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S1 E6 – How To Keep Your Relationship On Track When Having Multiples
Your Couple Bond & Your Multiple Pregnancy
How to recognise when your relationship is in trouble
On this episode, we discuss your couple relationship and why it’s important to nurture it before, during, and after your multiple pregnancy.
We hear from Psychologist Dr Gretta Little, who offers some practical tips to help keep you on track, and warning signs to look out for that might indicate you need to get some outside help.
Rebecca Perrie and Jannelle Snaddon share their stories of the ups-and-downs they had in their relationships while carrying their multiples, and after they were born.
And, I talk about the pressure the complications in my twin pregnancy put on my couple relationship.
Pressure
It’s no secret that carrying more than one baby at a time puts enormous pressure on your couple relationship. And with multiples, there’s the increased risk of complications along with being concerned about how your family unit is going to operate when you take home more than one baby.
Psychologist Gretta Little says it’s important to share your feelings about what’s happening and use your pregnancy to reflect on how you’d like things to be when you take the babies home.
“If you can talk about how you want to be parents of multiples, how you were parented yourself, what you want to do the same, what you want to do differently, and how the two of you might have common ground in that and how you might support each other in going about that,”
Dealing with complications
When complications arise in your pregnancy, it’s important to be realistic about what’s achievable for your relationship and not having high expectations of your partner and what they’re going to be able to bring to the relationship.
“It’s good to think about how you’re going to handle conflict together and how you’re going to be able to talk things through about that,”
“But, realistically there may be times where that’s not always possible and that might just have to wait until the babies are a little bit older or more-well,”
“I don’t think anyone ever really expects to have more than one baby, so it can be a bit of a shock,” says Dr Little.
Dr Little suggests joining the Multiple Births Association where you get to meet other people who are parents with multiples, which can help normalise the experience and help you realise that people have done this before and that it is achievable.
Warning signs your relationship is in trouble
When you’ve been through months of the emotional upheaval of coming to terms with being the parent of multiples, you might have fallen into the trap of neglecting not only yourself but your partner. If issues aren’t addressed, your relationship could be headed for crisis point. Dr Little says there are some clear signs to look out for before you get to this point.
“Warning signs would be increased conflict in the relationship or not talking to each other,”
“And, if you’re having frequent feelings of anger or disappointment about your partner, that would be an indication that it would be good to get some help,” says Dr Little.
Rebecca’s Story
Rebecca Perrie admits it took her a while to come to terms with being told she was having twins and that put a strain on her relationship with her husband.
“It didn’t have an effect on the relationship at the beginning, I think it was more on myself. I really struggled to come to terms with it, I had a plan in place of what my life was going to be like,”
“My first one was heading towards two, and in my mind, she could play or be sitting at a table and I could be happily holding the other baby,”
“And when they told me I was having two, my whole plans for the future were not going the way I had envisaged,”
“That’s where the toll on our relationship maybe came along as it went through the pregnancy, just me coming to terms with the fact I was having twins,...
View all episodes
Your Couple Bond & Your Multiple Pregnancy
How to recognise when your relationship is in trouble
On this episode, we discuss your couple relationship and why it’s important to nurture it before, during, and after your multiple pregnancy.
We hear from Psychologist Dr Gretta Little, who offers some practical tips to help keep you on track, and warning signs to look out for that might indicate you need to get some outside help.
Rebecca Perrie and Jannelle Snaddon share their stories of the ups-and-downs they had in their relationships while carrying their multiples, and after they were born.
And, I talk about the pressure the complications in my twin pregnancy put on my couple relationship.
Pressure
It’s no secret that carrying more than one baby at a time puts enormous pressure on your couple relationship. And with multiples, there’s the increased risk of complications along with being concerned about how your family unit is going to operate when you take home more than one baby.
Psychologist Gretta Little says it’s important to share your feelings about what’s happening and use your pregnancy to reflect on how you’d like things to be when you take the babies home.
“If you can talk about how you want to be parents of multiples, how you were parented yourself, what you want to do the same, what you want to do differently, and how the two of you might have common ground in that and how you might support each other in going about that,”
Dealing with complications
When complications arise in your pregnancy, it’s important to be realistic about what’s achievable for your relationship and not having high expectations of your partner and what they’re going to be able to bring to the relationship.
“It’s good to think about how you’re going to handle conflict together and how you’re going to be able to talk things through about that,”
“But, realistically there may be times where that’s not always possible and that might just have to wait until the babies are a little bit older or more-well,”
“I don’t think anyone ever really expects to have more than one baby, so it can be a bit of a shock,” says Dr Little.
Dr Little suggests joining the Multiple Births Association where you get to meet other people who are parents with multiples, which can help normalise the experience and help you realise that people have done this before and that it is achievable.
Warning signs your relationship is in trouble
When you’ve been through months of the emotional upheaval of coming to terms with being the parent of multiples, you might have fallen into the trap of neglecting not only yourself but your partner. If issues aren’t addressed, your relationship could be headed for crisis point. Dr Little says there are some clear signs to look out for before you get to this point.
“Warning signs would be increased conflict in the relationship or not talking to each other,”
“And, if you’re having frequent feelings of anger or disappointment about your partner, that would be an indication that it would be good to get some help,” says Dr Little.
Rebecca’s Story
Rebecca Perrie admits it took her a while to come to terms with being told she was having twins and that put a strain on her relationship with her husband.
“It didn’t have an effect on the relationship at the beginning, I think it was more on myself. I really struggled to come to terms with it, I had a plan in place of what my life was going to be like,”
“My first one was heading towards two, and in my mind, she could play or be sitting at a table and I could be happily holding the other baby,”
“And when they told me I was having two, my whole plans for the future were not going the way I had envisaged,”
“That’s where the toll on our relationship maybe came along as it went through the pregnancy, just me coming to terms with the fact I was having twins,...