For real, though. In an age of overconsumption and the looming threat of eco-pocalypse, is it ethically justifiable to have children? More importantly: how come they don’t give Hawkeye some of those fancy robot wings? Do our dead relatives watch us poop? Are we living in a simulation that’s gone off the rails? The one and only Caleb Benningfield is in the house to settle these issues once and for all.

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