Our Dads Died

S1 Ep13: The Bits You Didn't Hear

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We generally record for a couple hours at a time when talking to someone, and edit that episode down to 40-60 minutes. That means you miss out on quite a lot of good bits for the sake of making something shorter! This episode is all those bits you missed out on. Enjoy!

Show notes and timestamps:

Summary


Intro to this episode. 0:00

  • Welcome to our dads died, a special episode for those whose dads are dead or for those who have a dead dad.
  • Also, for ghosts.
  • The final episode of the first series.


    • Victor Sweeney: Embalming and open caskets. 2:18

    • When someone is on the embalming table, they are going down the arteries, pushing the blood through the circulatory system and out through the vein.
    • When someone in the casket is dressed.
    • The importance of being able to do things step by step, rather than trying to involve the whole body in one shot.
    • Mortuary school, whole body donation lab, cadaver lab, preparing bodies for anatomical study for doctors, preparing someone to last for 18 months.
    • Do you prefer the ones where there is no body at all, easy job done, or the ones with a lot of work to do, like cremation and an urn?
    • Some of the challenges of doing delayed funerals, such as covid-19, and how to keep all the personal requests straight.


      • Tom’s relationship with his dad. 10:51

      • His dad never wanted to have kids in the first place, so he treated him like a friend when he was a kid.
      • The difference between the first and second phases of life.


        • Bringing Tom’s dad back for a day. 11:52

        • Combining dads creates one dad who's got all the good qualities, but also creates another dad who doesn't take you to the pub and doesn't teach you how to ride a bike.
        • Great dad vs terrible dad.
        • The one year anniversary of his dad's death, and how the film onward is about kids finding his magic book and bringing him back to life for 24 hours.
        • My dad was the kind of guy who would go on an all-inclusive holiday. He would maybe sometimes kinda go to an aquarium or a museum.
        • If he came back, he would probably go to marwell zoo.


          • Bringing Rich’s dad back for a day. 19:04


          • He's got a day with his dad. He's been dead for seven years, and a lot of his life has changed since then, so he thinks he would want to spend time with him.
          • The person who's dead is back for one day, but they're just back for a day. It's just as though they just woke up and everything was normal.
          • The funerals are on Friday, and the funeral is in Liverpool. The funeral is on friday and is in London.


            • Victor Sweeney: A professional mistake. 24:19

            • A funeral for a vietnamese catholic priest who was a prisoner of war in vietnam. The church is full of the church is packed with like 500 Vietnamese catholics.
            • The bishop is there, the american legion is there and the Vietnamese contingent is there.
            • He helps roll out the casket and get it loaded up, and then he goes back into the church to grab a big vase of roses.
            • It goes awry.


              • Eshaan Akbar: Afterlife. 29:03

              • He was raised loosely christian, but is now an atheist and doesn't believe in an afterlife.
              • He still believes that there is a nonzero chance that there's something right.


                • Eshaan Akbar: Have you seen your dad in your dreams? 30:23

                • There are two types of dreams, a visitation dream and a release dream, where a dead relative comes to visit.
                • There is a third dream where the dead relative is in the back of a car, sitting in the car, not doing very much.


                  • Learning to not give ourselves a hard time. 33:17

                  • A year and a half in, there's still so many emotions that it's very easy to put them all under the umbrella of guilt. It's a very easy emotion to get.
                  • There's some wisdom buried deep at the bottom, somewhere.
                  • Share the podcast with anyone who might get something out of it, even if it's someone who just finds it funny listening to two middle class guys having a banter.
                  • Death comes to us all, but it comes to you first.

                    • ...more
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