Chris returns from The Matterhorn with a broken neck and a broken ego. Johnny is deeply resentful because Chris and Pat recorded The Christmas Special without him. Pat becomes the victim that all fat people fear. Chris regales the audience with his Swiss exploits. Pat and Johnny don't care. The lads broach the challenging topic of New Years' resolutions. Ultracrepidarians are discussed. Johnny returns with a genuine "Breaking News From Florida." The lads dig deep to discover what their memoirs would sound like. Out of utter laziness, the lads resort to a LOTR "Guess the Quote Contest" with a SHOCKING result (clickbait). The show closes out with a few shoutouts to our rabidly loyal listeners and a re-evaluation of the purpose of this podcast. Let us know if you've caught onto the golden nuggets following the outro...you shall be rewarded ten-fold.