Unraveling Me

S1E11 Unraveling Laura & DNAngels


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S1E11 - Unraveling Laura & DNAngels - This is a story about identity, truth, secrecy, grief, and grit. It’s about what happens when one woman refuses to stay in the dark—and builds an entire movement to help thousands of others step into the light. Laura never set out to shake up the world of DNA surprises. In 2017, she just wanted to build a legacy tree for her grandchildren. As a longtime genealogist, she took a DNA test expecting to confirm her English–Irish roots. Instead, she opened her results and felt the bottom drop out: her matches didn’t align with the man who raised her.

 

What followed was a cascade of realizations—family rumors resurfacing, memories unlocking, grief for the dad she adored, and the dawning truth about her and her siblings she grew up with. That discovery sent Laura into the “fetal-position phase,” three days in bed, a crash course in centimorgans, and then the decision that would change everything: to get up, get answers, and pick up the phone.

 

That phone call led her to the man who might be her genetic father…or her uncle—her “uncle-daddy.” It also led her to a widow who had known about Laura her entire life, a family she never knew she had, deep medical implications, and a new understanding of what secrecy costs a child across decades. From that unraveling came her mission: help others find the truth. And with that mission came DNAngels, a non-profit organization that has now helped identify more than 8,000 genetic parents.

 

SHOW NOTES

In this conversation, Kara and Laura talk about:

  • Why she took a DNA test, and the moment it all fell apart
  • How centimorgans actually work (explained the way real people understand it)
  • The “uncle-daddy” phone call that changed everything
  • Grieving her raising dad twice—once when he died, and again when she learned the truth
  • The emotional fallout with her four siblings 
  • How secrecy, ownership, and family mythology shape identity
  • The medical consequences of not knowing your genetic parentage
  • How all of this led to founding DNAngels, and what she wishes every MP parent understood


Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.




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Unraveling MeBy Kara Rubinstein-Deyerin & Alan Katz