In Part 1 of this series, Miyanovich and Half-Deadpool discuss: when your parents are messed up and you are not, "3rd Puberty", cascading middle-age problems, lethal implications and suicidal thoughts, self-awareness, sensitivity and dinosaur balls, junk food and the Arby's Dick Hat, "Half-Deadpool", the medical system, and The Curse of the Helper-man.