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Why do we still expect families to share one surname – and why is it usually his?

In this episode of Why Not and What If?, HR consultant and coach Siobhán Godden and marketing & communications consultant Andy Cracknell dive into the tangled world of surnames, marriage and identity. From women taking (or not taking) their partner’s name, to double-barrelled surnames, passport checks at borders and awkward moments at the school gate, they explore what our naming traditions say about family, culture and power.

Along the way they wander into heritage, patriarchy, Irish and British naming history, families with multiple surnames under one roof, and whether it really matters anymore that everyone shares the same name – especially as marriage rates fall and family structures evolve.

You’ll hear:

• Why some partners keep their original surname for professional or personal identity
• The practical headaches of different surnames for parents and children (airports, schools, forms)
• How names connect to heritage, class, status and “old money”
• Stories of names changed for safety, social acceptance or political reasons
• Big questions about whether the “traditional” family name still makes sense today

If you’ve ever debated changing your name, double-barrelling, going back to your maiden name, or giving your kids something completely different, this episode is for you.

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— we might do a follow-up episode with your takes.