Musings into the before and after schism of grief encountered. The caution to be wary and careful around those who have dealt with deep things, their tolerance is low for the superficial or the minor incidents of life. 

Inspired byan Insta post on grief by @maudsleystrong - and the one line that compelled me to share this episode. That the person you become after deep grief is an altogether different one and that the daily incidents or inconveniences “lose their authority” over your mood. This resonated with me and hit hard for its accuracy. The notion that a wrong coffee order, an invitation to gossip or complain loses its authority over you, after everything has been stripped bare in grief… 

Story shared of a clock on my wall being shattered by a friend in grief, the loss of her first baby. I am sweeping up the shards but she has barely blinked, feeling like my heart was broken as I loved this clock. It was a present bought in a faraway land from friends as a final gift before I left… and yet…

and yet… the fact it did not register was to show me my heart was not, in fact, broken at all - but, in contrast, hers was.  A profundity of grief I would not truly understand for many years. 

Sharing the snippets of actor, Keanu Reeves, too and the choice to stay gentle and kind after tragedy, discerning as he did, that the earth angels are those who walk among us, where grief has humbled rather than hardened, in the end. 

The question Tina Turner asked potential suitors and the answer that touched her heart from the one who became her husband and enduring love of her life.

From corporate lawyer to full time writer, Julia Mathison, in this 12 MIN EP, explores the capacity to sit with wounds and be mutated from them, into kinder, gentler beings… so the caution for others becomes, to tread well with them for they entertain neither fools or superficiality after the schism. Such things lose authority over them, so the general populace caution is to treat their gentleness as a feature of their strength and character and not a bug…

Always a personal musing, featuring personal preferences, with a desired message to be kind, follow your hearts direction and accept the calling of your innate gifts. 

NOTES:

PS - excuse my struggle to pronounce the word SCHISM. I could not find a word to take its place so decided to press ‘publish’ anyway. Similarly, it may not be clear but I am aware of the difference between chasm (the gap) and schism (the split), which is the one I was seeking to share, without realising until I came to say it out loud that I was unable to pronounce it fluidly.  Go easy. Be gentle! 

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