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S2 E2- Hurt people hurt people; breaking the cycle
In this episode, Ali and Laura pick up where they left off, diving deep into the toxicity they see in the world around them, from politics and workplaces to relationships and social media, and why doing your own inner work is the most powerful thing you can do in response.
They get candid about blame in relationships, the patterns we inherit, and what it really means to heal. Ali opens up about her divorce, the "97% to blame" conversation, and the profound shift that came from choosing to look inward rather than outward.
Key Takeaways
- Hurt people hurt people. Understanding the wounds behind someone's behaviour doesn't mean accepting it.
- See the 8-year-old in everyone. A powerful reframe: when you look at difficult people as the child they once were, shaped by experiences and pain, it becomes easier to access empathy and forgiveness.
- Doing the work changes everything. We reflect on how personal growth shifted their perspectives on past relationships.
- Blame keeps you stuck. Accepting responsibility (even when it feels unfair) is the doorway to genuine growth and change.
- Intention matters. When communicating checking your own intention helps you act from a place of love rather than reaction.
- Listening is underrated. Many conflicts escalate because people hear the words but not the wound behind them.
- You are still that child. Connecting with your inner child helps you understand your triggers, patterns, and needs.
Tools and recommendations
People
- Angie — Founder of the COGS community- Find out more about events here.
- Lisa — Spiritual coach. You can see her work here.
- Naomi — Relationship coach. You can see her work here.
Tools
- The Wellness Toolbox by Ali Swift. Buy here.
- Ho'oponopono Prayer — A Hawaiian forgiveness practice touched on in conversation: "I forgive myself. I love myself. I thank myself." Used as a daily inner child practice by one of the ladies at the COGS event.
If you need support please use the links below;
Mind Charity UK
https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/
Samaritans UK
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email us at [email protected] and we will do our best to help.
Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media.
Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media
View all episodes
By Laura and AliIn this episode, Ali and Laura pick up where they left off, diving deep into the toxicity they see in the world around them, from politics and workplaces to relationships and social media, and why doing your own inner work is the most powerful thing you can do in response.
They get candid about blame in relationships, the patterns we inherit, and what it really means to heal. Ali opens up about her divorce, the "97% to blame" conversation, and the profound shift that came from choosing to look inward rather than outward.
Key Takeaways
- Hurt people hurt people. Understanding the wounds behind someone's behaviour doesn't mean accepting it.
- See the 8-year-old in everyone. A powerful reframe: when you look at difficult people as the child they once were, shaped by experiences and pain, it becomes easier to access empathy and forgiveness.
- Doing the work changes everything. We reflect on how personal growth shifted their perspectives on past relationships.
- Blame keeps you stuck. Accepting responsibility (even when it feels unfair) is the doorway to genuine growth and change.
- Intention matters. When communicating checking your own intention helps you act from a place of love rather than reaction.
- Listening is underrated. Many conflicts escalate because people hear the words but not the wound behind them.
- You are still that child. Connecting with your inner child helps you understand your triggers, patterns, and needs.
Tools and recommendations
People
- Angie — Founder of the COGS community- Find out more about events here.
- Lisa — Spiritual coach. You can see her work here.
- Naomi — Relationship coach. You can see her work here.
Tools
- The Wellness Toolbox by Ali Swift. Buy here.
- Ho'oponopono Prayer — A Hawaiian forgiveness practice touched on in conversation: "I forgive myself. I love myself. I thank myself." Used as a daily inner child practice by one of the ladies at the COGS event.
If you need support please use the links below;
Mind Charity UK
https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/
Samaritans UK
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email us at [email protected] and we will do our best to help.
Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media.
Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media