This Was Supposed to be Easy Podcast

S2 Episode 31: We Thought Listening Was Going to be Easy (Part 2)

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In Part Two of our listening series, Amy and Cheryl move from awareness to action. Building on Part One, they explore Stephen Covey’s levels of listening, how “pauses” create space for understanding, and four practical tools pausing, reflecting, reading nonverbals, and asking better questions that transform everyday conversations at home, at work, and with kids. Expect laughs (Grandma’s “selective listening”), real talk about discomfort, and a gentle push to listen in ways that improve relationships.

Key Topics & Takeaways

  • Covey’s Levels of Listening: ignoring, pretend, selective, attentive, and empathic use awareness to notice (and shift) your current level.
  • Selective & Pretend Listening: why we drift, and the hilarious “hook word” story that snaps people back.
  • The Power of the Pause: count to three before responding; silence invites depth (and stops hijacking the convo).
  • Reflective Practice (without parroting): reflect meaning or emotion so people feel heard and can move on.
  • Validation Loop: repeating often means “I’m not sure you heard me.” Reflect to break the loop.
  • Nonverbals Speak Loudly: tone, pace, eye contact, posture listen to the spoken and unspoken.
  • Ask Open-Ended, Invitation Questions: “What was that like for you?” “Tell me more…” and then actually listen.
  • Designing for Joy & Curiosity: in families, teams, and trainings, listen for what’s said and unsaid to create autonomy and engagement.
  • Relationships First: better listening → better connection.

    • Memorable Lines

    • “Maybe more awareness will help me notice when I’m in a level I don’t want to be in.” – Cheryl
    • “If you ask the question, listen to the answer.” – Amy
    • “Reflect the emotion when you can’t reflect the words.” – Amy
    • “Silence can be an invitation, not an absence.” – Cheryl (on leaving thinking pauses)
    • “When you develop the skill of listening, you’re really improving relationships.” – Amy

      • Challenge for the Week

      Pick one conversation and practice the 3–2–1:

      1. Count 3 seconds after they finish.
      2. Reflect 2 things you heard (one content, one feeling).
      3. Ask 1 open-ended follow-up (“What felt most important about that?”).
        4. Notice what changes in them and in you.

        Additional Resources or Links

        • Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Levels of Listening).
        • Brené Brown’s recent podcast conversations with Adam Grant—notice how the pauses are left in to model reflective listening.
        • M. Scott Peck quote (from Part One): “Listening is being able to be changed by another person.”

          • Ways to Connect

          Love this series? Share it with a friend who’s practicing better listening.

          • Follow: @thiswassupposedtobeeasy (Instagram & Facebook)
          • Subscribe & leave a review—tell us how you used the 3–2–1 challenge!
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            This Was Supposed to be Easy PodcastBy supposedtobeeasy