I'm doing this for you. And for Mike, too, I guess, though I don't think there's much I can do to help him at this point.

I suppose I should provide some background information first. I'm a sophomore in a fairly good university in Boston no, not MIT or Harvard, but still one that's a bit of a chore to get into. My freshman year, I had the option to live in honors housing and decided to roll with it; after all, at least the people would be interesting. Whatever arcane algorithm they use to process roommate requests took in my preferences and spat out the name of my future roommate: Mike, just another random honors kid from St. Louis. The two of us got along fine for most of freshman year © my enjoyment of Miley Cyrus notwithstanding-and so we decided to room together sophomore year as well....