New year, same us — but with a new brain (allegedly). We’re kicking off 2026 with running shoe rage (why are we inserting our own insoles??), the concept of “luxury hopping” (aka romanticizing your day with micro-luxuries every few hours), and the reality that sometimes your entire personality shift is just… a minor concussion.

Then we spiral (as we do): miswak sticks instead of toothpaste, EMF hot takes, parasite chatter, toddler stomach drama, DIY carnivore “meat bark”, and a surprisingly educational detour into what a functional cycle actually looks like.

And because it’s us, we end up at aliens, disclosure, nuclear sites, and a conspiracy-themed birthday party where everyone presents a slideshow to prove their theory is real.

Welcome to 2026. Grab your red light, your vibe plate, and your blood pills.