In this week’s episode, we talk with Aaron Kartchner about fatherhood and what it’s like to be a non-stereotypical stay at home dad. Aaron’s first daughter was born extremely premature at 27 weeks resulting in a 135-day stay in the NICU. She was born weighing just one point 5.5 ounces. As a result, Aaron chose to step into the role of primary caretaker. Aaron discusses how parenting impacts self-identity, how he approaches gender roles and how much of the world is set up to support moms who are often the primary caretaker. We discuss the experience of parenting a child in the NICU and with special medical needs in her early months and Aaron gives us a lot of insights through his own stories about not just what it's like to be a NICU parent, but also how to show up and support those who are going through it. 

 

In This Episode: 

 

• [ 2:24 ] Aaron’s introduction 
• [ 4:26 ] Aaron and his wife’s decision for him to become a stay at home dad
• [ 6:05 ] Transitioning from corporate America to being a stay at home parent
• [ 8:10 ] Aaron’s woodworking business
• [ 9:18 ] Highs and lows of stay at home parenting
• [ 10:46 ] Finding purpose and self-identity outside of parenting
• [ 12:27 ] Aaron defines what fatherhood means to him
• [ 14:38 ] Stereotypes of gender roles with parenting
• [ 18:05 ] Aaron shares his wife’s perspective and journey to step into parenting
• [ 21:29] How parenthood impacts self-identity
• [ 24:30 ] How his daughter being in the NICU changed Aaron’s perception of family planning
• [ 31:00 ] How being a ‘NICU parent’ shapes you as a parent
• [ 36:41 ] Aaron shares his wife’s traumatic birth story
• [ 45:15 ] Growing their family after the traumatic birth of their first child
• [ 46:26 ] Aaron defines family

 

Takeaways: 

 

• Our culture still has a long way to go with breaking down stereotypes related to gender roles and parenthood. 
• A person’s identity is often shaken when they become a parent. It can be really important to find things to enjoy outside of parenting to help give new purpose and identity. 
• Everyone’s journey in parenting and family-planning is different. Because of this it requires a great amount of sympathy, understanding, and respecting one’s privacy. 
• Having a child in the NICU – whether for a few hours or several months – changes your entire perspective on life. It gives a new appreciation to life and finding the beauty within it.   
• One of the best ways to support and help a parent with a child in the NICU is simply ask, “What do you need now?”

 

Links 

 

http://www.stayathomewoodworks.com/ 

 

@stayathomewoodworks  

 

https://www.facebook.com/StayAtHomeWoodworks/

 

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