On February 4th, the popular and well-paid art critic, Jerry Salz asked his followers, 

“Artists; Just a question: What does art have to do with nature?” 

Salz was regularly tweeting out insipid shit like this and it boiled Sabrina’s blood.

She was saving his worst tweets and hoarding them, thinking she’d do some sort of ironic project with them. 

Here are a few gems she saved: 

Artists: Try to spend a lot of time in the presence of your art. Listen carefully to what it has to say. Follow it wherever it leads you. It has needs.

Artists: Art is your fate, your destiny. 

Artists: You have to plow and tend the field of your work in order to reap the crop of your art. 

Artists: Every artist feels clueless, uneducated, unoriginal, and not connected or well-off enough. Tough titties. Get to work anyway. 

Artists: Art gives up its secrets slowly. 

Artists: There’s a lot of boldness to living as an artist. Congratulations. 

Artists: You do know, don’t you, that it’s not too late to live your dreams? All you have to do is get to work. 

Artists: You are just trying to reach your own shore; not anyone else’s. 

Artists: The light that you put in your work is the light that will pour out of your work. 

Artists: Art is visual sunshine. 

Artists: Dare to be powerful in your work. It’s incredible what can happen.

Sabrina goaded Salz with a snarky reply to his tweet: 

Replying to @jerrysaltz 

“I can’t believe no one is telling you how douchey these tweets are. You are the most annoying guy at the water cooler and I’m not just saying this to make myself feel better. Consider it a PSA.” 

Salz wrote back, which was thrilling for Sabrina. It was as if a mythical portal of twitter, one that puts you in direct contact with celebrities, had briefly opened for her: 

Replying to @foodandfootage 

“I love how the cool kids think they are arbiters of what others should do! Rather than use your energies to tell me how to use my energies, maybe unfollow or block me? Lol! Thank you.” 

Sabrina could not let this rest, so she tweeted back: 

Replying to @jerrysaltz 

“Kids don't know what a water cooler is and anyone cool isn't doing this on a Saturday afternoon. I don't have the moral fortitude to unfollow you. It's a car accident I enjoy watching. I recommend less therapy, Jerry. Less self esteem.”

Perhaps this qualifies as arrogance on Sabrina’s part. Hard to judge.

Derek reads at @LoFiLit's An Evening of Poetry and Fiction on Wed June 14, and sends dispatches as Wartime Author.

Josh's Hobart Pulp piece is I Used to Watch Touched By An Angel with my Grandmother on CBS.