This bonus and final episode of the Safe to Hope podcast brings together Dr. Dan Allender and our storyteller, Carya, in a conversation that is both tender and profound.

Dr. Allender—known for his pioneering work in trauma and abuse recovery—invites Carya to reflect on her healing journey through the lens of God’s image, goodness, and gentleness. Together, they explore the paradox of holding both unbearable evil and astonishing grace within one life.

SHOW NOTES: 

Dr Allender resources

• The Wounded Heart
• The Healing Path
• To Be Told
• God Loves Sex
• Intimate Allies
• The Cry of the Soul, 
• Bold Love
• Bold Purpose
• Redeeming Heartache
• The Deep-Rooted Marriage

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In her final story episode, Carya reflects on what it means for God to be with her—not only through rescue, but in the long, quiet ache that follows. Through Scripture, images, and honest wrestling, she shares how comfort can coexist with agony, and how the Word that once felt distant has become both balm and challenge. Explore what healing looks like when it isn’t finished yet—when faith must hold steady between lament and hope.

• Episode 4 
• Episode 6 
• Restoring the Shattered Self and Treating Trauma and Christian Counseling  by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Graduate Certificate in Trauma Therapy
• The Other Half of Church, Escaping Enemy Mode and The Red Dragon Cast Down  by Jim Wilder
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg

Scripture quotations are from the ESV®Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright© 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by pe

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

Dr. Dan Allender joins Ann Maree to discuss trauma, faith, and the work of story. Together they wrestle with how believers can live in the tension between death and resurrection—where hope and heartache coexist.

SHOW NOTES:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans

Dr Allender’s Resources:

• The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
• The Healing Path: How the Hurts in Your Past Can Lead You to a More Abundant Life
• To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Future
• The Cry of the Soul (with Tremper Longman III)
• God Loves Sex (with Dr. Tremper Longman III)
• Bold Love (with Tremper Longman III)

• The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

Carya’s rescue didn’t begin with a manual—it began with love, prayer, and a community willing to bear witness. In this conversation, “Lynn,” the trusted friend who helped orchestrate Carya’s exit from harm, shares how faith, patience, wise counsel, and practical safeguards came together to make safety possible. This is not a how-to guide; it’s a testimony of God’s steady care through ordinary people who chose to stay.

SHOW NOTES:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans
• Restoring the Shattered Self by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Treating Trauma and Christian Counseling by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Graduate Certificate in Trauma Therapy
• The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode and The Red Dragon Cast Down by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In this pivotal chapter of her story, Carya shares how her long nightmare began to shift—when the years of abuse finally gave way to rescue. Yet safety was not something she could walk into alone. This episode highlights the crucial role of people-helpers—those who step in, stand beside, and walk with survivors through the fear, uncertainty, and fragile beginnings of healing.

Show Notes:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans
• Restoring the Shattered Self by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Treating Trauma and Christian Counseling by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Graduate Certificate in Trauma Therapy
• The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder
  
  
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode and The Red Dragon Cast Down by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

This week on Safe to Hope, Dr. Heather Davediuk Gingrich joins us for a conversation that blends deep clinical insight with years of walking alongside survivors of extreme abuse. From dissociative identity disorder (DID) to ritual abuse, she helps us understand how evil distorts, how the church can cause further harm—even unintentionally—and how to become truly safe people for those who are healing. This is a sobering yet hope-filled episode, equipping us to listen well, care wisely, and respond with both truth and compassion.

SHOW NOTES: 

• Shattered No More by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Restoring the Shattered Self by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Treating Trauma and Christian Counseling by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• Graduate Certificate in Trauma Therapy with Dr. Heather Gingrich
• The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder
  
  
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

Through language rarely spoken in Christian spaces, Carya explains the difference between grooming and training, and how dissociation became the means of survival when life became unbearable. Carya invites listeners to see not only the trauma, but the mercy that allowed her to endure it. Her words call us, the Church to deeper understanding, and to become a place where stories like hers can be known and safely held.

Show Notes:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr. Heather Evans
• Shattered No More by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• CTHN, Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In this compelling expert segment, attorney and advocate Rachael Denhollander offers deep insight into the role of theology in abuse prevention and response. She helps us understand why survivors struggle to be believed and what it takes to build churches that are safe, discerning, and equipped to care well.

SHOW NOTES:

• What Is A Girl Worth? By Rachael Denhollander
• Redeeming Power by Diane Langberg

Informational Resources:

• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

This episode is one of the most sobering in our 2025 Safe to Hope season. As Carya transitions into life beyond her father’s household, she shares how a new circle of abusers—men in Christian leadership—took over her life with terrifying control. She exposes not only their cruelty, but also how they weaponized orthodoxy, hiding their evil behind sound doctrine and religious influence. In this story, Carya shares a deeply personal and painful part of her journey: her pregnancies and her children. She names the loss, the rage, and the impossible grief. And yet, through her prayers at the end, she reveals the quiet power of lament that trusts a personal, covenant-keeping God even when hope is hard to find.

Please use caution in listening. The material is disturbing—not due to graphic detail, but because of the nature of the abuse. There is an optional early ending point before Carya’s story of her children.

SHOW NOTES: 

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans

Self-Care Resources:

• CTHN Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder

Informational Resources:

• RAINN.org
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

What does healthy intimacy look like in Christian marriage? And what happens when biblical language gets tangled with cultural stereotypes? In this powerful and hope-filled episode, we welcome Sheila Wray Gregoire—author, researcher, and founder of BareMarriage.com—to discuss her latest book The Marriage You Want. With wisdom grounded in Scripture and backed by extensive research, Sheila offers a compelling call to mutuality, emotional connection, and healthy sexuality within marriage.

This conversation gently acknowledges that these insights may not apply to relationships marked by coercion or abuse. If that's your story, we hope this episode offers language to describe what’s not of God—and affirms your worth, safety, and dignity.

Whether you’re rebuilding your marriage or simply curious about God's design for intimacy, this episode brings both practical insight and compassionate encouragement.

SHOW NOTES:

Sheila Wray Gregoire Resources

• Bare Marriage podcast
• Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended 
• The Marriage You Want: How to Build a Relationship that Brings Out the Best in Both of You
• She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up

🎧 Also available on YouTube.

Safe to Hope episode with Sheila

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.