From Amy:

I always knew that I loved writing. But I'm not sure I understood—until I went through a major transition, and not by my own choice—that writing is healing. At first it's writing just for me, raw and unwieldy and terrifying, but I always have the sense that this writing is something that, when I'm ready, is meant to be shared. Because stories tell us we're not alone. And they help people find us so that we can be there for each other.

Meanwhile, I let myself stay in that first stage of book writing as long as I need to, a stage I call ALLOWING. Allowing it all to be whatever it is. And that allowing makes room for the most powerful stories come through. One of the biggest compliments I ever receive as a writer, and how I know my words have landed, is when people feel inexplicably drawn to tell me THEIR stories. It comes from the deepest parts of them, as a welcome release. I can feel it. Because I've processed my hard things, I'm able to listen to theirs and that helps.

And even if we never meet at all, these readers and I, stories of healing help people. Yes, we write for ourselves first, but it doesn't stop there. Memoir is not selfish. It's the most generous thing you can do. Does that make sense? Because if you take nothing else away from this episode, it's that you can write your hardest things, yes, the very worst of them, and you can transform them into beautiful writing. 

So the next question people ask me is: How?

How to you get from that very worst moment of heartbreak to a beautiful completed book? Well...

I remember when Nikki Kindred Halvorson's husband was killed by a drunk driver in March 2020, because a mutual friend reached out to let me know what had happened. Nikki would need to work with me, this mutual friend said. She didn't know when, but she wanted to let me know. And she was absolutely right. I felt called to work on this project as Nikki's mentor and editor in due time. Eventually, she reached out.

After Allowing, you progress into other stages: Composing, Revision, Editing, and now Sharing. That's where I came in.

(Do you see the acronym? ACRES? My shorthand for: If you're transforming a landscape, you do it acre by acre.)

There was nothing expected or pretty about the loss of John Erik Halvorson—Nikki's longtime best friend and husband—a tragedy compounded by so many things. Such as the old house they were restoring together, all torn apart. A pandemic. And more.

But the process of salvaging stories for a beautiful book? (Or several...) There's nothing like it.

So if you're wondering how you do that, write a book about your worst nightmare and feel proud of it and even grateful?

Nikki pulls back the curtain in this episode. You'll want to listen.

Nikki Kindred Halvorson works as a pediatric speech-language pathologist and is active in historical preservation. She realized a lifelong dream in 2014 when she became caretaker of a great old house with her husband, Erik. Widowed in 2020 at age 32, Nikki has continued to rehab her house and has begun building a new life on the foundation of her old one as she heals. She’s currently in the process of realizing another lifelong dream of becoming a published author.

Amy Hallberg is the author of Tiny Altars: A Midlife Revival and German Awakening: Tales from an American Life. She is the host of Courageous Wordsmith Podcast and founder of Courageous Wordsmith Circle for Real-Life Writers. As an editor and writing mentor, Amy guides writers through their narrative journeys—from inklings to beautiful works, specifically podcasts and books. A lifelong Minnesotan and mother of grown twins, Amy lives in the Twin Cities with her husband and two cats.

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