PREMIER LEAGUE: theories on why top 5 teams in the table amassed zero wins this weekend, juice-less Manchester Daerby and Aston Villa peaking at the right time

HALFTIME: what if you were given the choice of attending three straight Champions League finals or one World Cup final?

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute plus preview of huge midweek slate f/t Champions League and make-or-break Europa League for Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: rapid rundown of FA Cup quarterfinals and thots on semifinals draw; double dose of previews f/t London, Manchester AND Merseyside daerbies plus especially critical weeks for Aston Villa and Nottingham Forest

HALFTIME: What If Neal Maupay (wanting out of Marseille and unwelcome back at Everton) rings you asking your recommendation for world's best shithouse league... where you sending him?

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute and ode to Peter Vermes

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

ROUND THE WORLD: postmortem of USMNT's nightmarish international break featuring lifeless losses to Panama (0-1) and Canada (1-2), featuring who is to blame and what needs to change

HALFTIME: What If we had Dest and Jedi available this window... and Josh Sargent's turn in Compliment Corner

MLS HIT-IT-N-QUIT-IT MINUTE

PREMIER LEAGUE: FA Cup quarterfinals preview

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: the Ghost of Tyler Terens reacts to Liverpool (wanted it) vs Newcastle (needed it) in League Cup final. Brighton take City for a ride and Spurs down weapons versus Fulham. Also, is anyone in the league in better form than Bruno Fernandes?

HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on odds to win this summer's FIFA Club World Cup

ROUND THE WORLD: reaction to Poch's latest USMNT roster, including late additions and subtractions. Who what XI we expect to see on Thursday against Panama. Why this game is actually sneaky important.

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: NunoBall earns Forest a deserved 1-0 win over City. Arsenal escape with a gross 1-1 draw vs United. Spurs show a little spine against Bournemouth. Preview of Liverpool vs weakened Newcastle in League Cup final. And we look ahead to the rest of the weekend, featuring City/Brighton, Arsenal/Chelsea and Bournemouth/Brentford -- plus what there *really* is to play for this season.

ROUND THE WORLD: Hit-It-N-Quit-It MLS Minute and rundown of Champions League R16 second legs (notably Liverpool heading back to Anfield lucky to be up 1-0 on PSG plus heated Madrid Daerby)

HALFTIME: What If you were tasked with running the newly announced halftime show at the World Cup 2026 final... who you booking?

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: red cards galore in the FA Cup 5th round, including an extra painful ones for JP Mateta and Anthony Gordon, plus weekend preview featuring Forest hosting City and the battle between Arsenal and United that precisely NOBODY is excited about (per Mikey)

HALFTIME: What If the rules were changed such that nil-nil draws resulted in zero points for both teams (instead of one)?

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute plus preview of Champions League R16 first legs, including Liverpool vs PSG and Madrid Daerby

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: Liverpool put a bow on their pre-championship season by outclassing City in Manchester, West Ham force Arsenal to wave goodbye to the title race, Newcastle out-gun Forest, Everton and especially Palace continue their surges up the table, listener feedback on recent anti-Amorim (and Ange) takes plus a preview of big midweek slate (eg, Liverpool v Newcastle and Forest v Arsenal) and our favorites to win FA Cup

HALFTIME: What If your teammate refuses to let the designated penalty-taker take a penalty, how would YOU deal with the situation?

ROUND THE WORLD: Hit-It-N-Quit-It MLS Minute is so back

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets (#OverTrain is cooking) and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: Omar Marmoush silenced critics in a big way vs Newcastle. Slightly healthier Spurs withstand midfield-less United in Banter FC daerby. Fulham outclasses Forest. Plus a look ahead at a big week for City and Liverpool culminating in battle of defending champs vs champs-elect.

HALFTIME: What If you were anointed FIFA rule-maker for a day... what would you do to cut back on diving?

ROUND THE WORLD: USL takes aim at MLS with plan to launch a first division in 2027 with promotion and relegation along with this week's must-watch Champions League playoffs

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: why Spurs' latest loss vindicates Big Ange and other FA Cup thots (including Liverpool/Big 6 quietly killing the tournament and upside of Lester getting absolutely hosed by linesman against United) plus weekend preview featuring City/Newcastle, Fulham/Forect and the battle to be Banter FC: Tottenham vs United

HALFTIME: What If the Premier League follows through on implementing a salary cap - net positive or negative?

ROUND THE WORLD: games worth watching among this week's Champions League playoffs and other must-watch tilts around Europe

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

PREMIER LEAGUE: Arteta gets one over on Pep as Arsenal HUUMBLE City 5-1. Liverpool might be even better than we gave them credit for. Ange is... evolving? Amorim silences United's already quiet attack. Power Rankings. League Cup semifinals (leg 2) preview/predictions.

HALFTIME: What If Jhon Duran did not receive the controversial red card against Newcastle... how would it changed his career trajectory now and several years down the road?

ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chaos plus One Minute Man's thots on a wild offseason full of big moves into, within and out of MLS

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs