A Tiny Homestead

Santa Claus!

Listen Later

Today I'm talking with Santa Claus! Hope you enjoy our chat, and a small peek into the North Pole. Merry Christmas!

 

patreon.com/atinyhomestead

Muck Boots 

Calendars.Com

If you'd like to support me in growing this podcast, like, share, subscribe or leave a comment. Or just buy me a coffee 

https://buymeacoffee.com/lewismaryes

00:00

You're listening to A Tiny Homestead, the podcast comprised entirely of conversations with homesteaders, cottage food producers, and crafters. I'm your host, Mary Lewis. Today I have the supreme pleasure of talking with Santa Claus at the North Pole. Good morning, Santa. How are you? Good morning, Mary. I'm doing very well. How are you? I'm good. Is it cold at the North Pole? Oh, it's always cold at the North Pole, but we adapt pretty well. Yeah, it's a-

00:27

It's very cold in Minnesota where I am this morning. We are not even at freezing yet. True. We call that the South Pole. Exactly. So in our summers there, you need to come to Minnesota in June. It's beautiful. Yes, absolutely. All right. So tell me a little bit about the North Pole because I, my questions for, for

00:56

the North Pole is, you always listening to Christmas music?  Oh, not necessarily. I enjoy a nice variety. mean, Christmas music certainly keeps us focused on what we're doing, but I like some jazz music every once in a while. Of course, there is a nice crossover with Vince Guaraldi. I love his stuff. Very nice.  And what I mean...

01:20

I don't even know what to ask you. This is, this is crazy. I might actually, I might actually be nervous talking to Santa Claus.  So  is your, is your home decor, is it all Christmas stuff all the time? We have some areas that are off limits  to anything Christmas  because Mrs. Claus, she's very supportive, but sometimes she just needs to have something that is devoid of it.

01:47

Just to have a variety, just to break things up a little bit. She enjoys her Coca-Cola room and she enjoys her shabby chic room and there's lots of rooms in the castle. So she has many options and I give her carte blanche because happy wife, happy life.  Absolutely. So is the home a castle? Does Santa Claus live in a castle?

02:13

Oh, we, we have what you might call a compound actually. There's a whole village, not just the castle, but the ancillary areas where the reindeer live, where the elves have their home quarters, et cetera, et cetera. So just about any facility you might imagine that we need, we have, and it's protected by a great big dome so that we can't be seen by anybody who might want to find us.  I love it. I love it. That's amazing. um

02:43

So tell me about your reindeer. Are they the same reindeer all the time? Are they immortal or do you have baby reindeer sometimes?

02:54

Oh, we have a, we have the A team that everybody seems to know, although I do challenge the children to try and name them. Uh, they, they always miss two or three. The most famous example is Don Durr, not Don Ur. Uh, Don Ur is something else. Don Durr is the name of that reindeer. And then the B team and the C team. they, they are immortal, but we do have some grandparent reindeers and.

03:21

The beyond the first famous nine, there are two more teams of reindeer right now. So two more, 16 more reindeer. And they have fun names like chat and Shlomo and all of, all of the other reindeer.  Shlomo. Okay. I hadn't heard that one before. Right. Well, and then they're all different, but they don't see a lot of action, but they're there just in case. I usually use them when I make visits down south.

03:50

Uh, so that the A team stay in their peak strength.  Oh,  okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Cause I'm sure that even if you're an immortal reindeer, you probably do get tired. Oh, sure. They need their naps and they're, they're bedded by time and they're,  they're good diets and such. So you don't want to wear them out. They can still get sore hooves.  Oh my, we don't want that. That's not good.  Okay. So,  um,  what is your.

04:19

Well, number one, does Santa Claus like eggnog? Sure. I enjoy eggnog. Definitely the virgin types. You don't need anything tipsy. I'm always driving. Yep. So maybe,  so maybe milk is better. Sure. You can put anything out. It's the thought that counts. And I really appreciate the children who think of us and the reindeer as well. It's nice to put out things for them. They love things.

04:49

that make crunchy sounds. So red bell peppers,  maybe some zucchini, some cucumbers, things that crunch. They love making the crunching sounds. So those are always welcome and appreciated as well.  they like apples? Oh, sure. If it crunches, they munches. Okay.  And then,  so I'm assuming that you like all cookies, but you have a favorite.

05:14

Oh yes,  again, it's the thought that counts. appreciate whatever the children put out for me, milk, eggnog, a glass of water. It's all fine. And I do have my favorite, it's white chocolate macadamia nut, but cookies are cookies. They're like pizza. Nothing can go wrong if you put out pizza and nothing can go wrong if you put out any kind of cookie for Santa.  Good to know. My favorite cookie is a snickerdoodle.  Oh, that's a good one too.

05:42

Yeah, I'm probably going to make some over Christmas.  if you swing by, if you swing by the house in LaSore, Minnesota, where I live, there might be snickerdoodles for you. You can count on it.  Okay. So I know that you are the Santa, but there's all these Santas that people see at the malls where kids go to sit on Santa's lap and tell them their wishes for Christmas. Do you?

06:08

Do you feel offended that there are so many impersonators or do you feel flattered? No, I love it. It takes a village so I can  use all the help I can get. It's all a network, you see. So they're doing the recon for me and they pass it on  as long as it's appropriate. I mean, sometimes

06:29

children ask for the craziest nines or a whole house. So they filter it out really well for me. The elves on the shelves do a nice job too. So it's all part of my reconnaissance team all over the world. I have a little bone to pick with the elves on the shelves.  Oh, okay.  They are naughty. A lot of them are naughty elves and they do, they like, they personify silly naughtiness and.

06:57

I didn't have the elf on the shelf for when I was a kid or when my kids were kids. And so when the elves on the shelves showed up and I saw some of the things that they do, I was almost grateful that I was not part of that. Well, that's a very valid point. And you should rest assured that it's actually a bit of a pilot program because normally the elves are making the toys year round, round the clock. But

07:22

A few of them approached me  and wanted, guess what you could call a sabbatical where they come down south and they do a little field work, a little reconnaissance.

07:36

Oh, it is a pilot program. Sometimes when they get a little bit ribaldry or a little bit incorrigible, we have to bring them back to the pole and circulate them out. So the elf on your shelf might actually be a different elf from year to year, especially if they're naughty. We want to keep them on the straight and narrow. They just seem to look alike. So  one year you might have an elf that's very cooperative and friendly and nice. And then maybe they get a little too big for their britches and we have to swap them out.

08:06

keeping everybody humble. So even the elf on the shelf can be on the naughty list sometimes.  Oh, anybody can be on the naughty list. I try really hard to stay off of it myself. Sometimes Santa has a grumpy moment. Sometimes I get tired. And Mrs. Claus really helps me a lot to remind me of why I'm doing what I'm doing. Yes. And so tell me why you're doing what you're doing.  I just love making wonderful memories.

08:33

I love the joy and the wonder in the children's eyes

08:40

and it could be children of any age,  but so contagious that it drives me. I guess if you could say if Santa has a drug, it's the spirit of Christmas.  Okay. And tell me what the spirit of Christmas means to you, Santa. If I had one thing on my Christmas list and children of all ages ask me, what do I want for Christmas? I want peace on earth. And when we're all at peace, when we stop worrying about so many things,

09:08

So many opinions we don't need to have. We're arguing about so many things these days. Oh my goodness, stay off of the social media. So many irrelevant and irreverent things on there. Peace. Let's get back to the basics of what we are. uh A herd, a pack, a tribe, a social creature. We're meant to be together and to support each other, not to tear each other down. So the spirit of Christmas is the

09:38

perfect embodiment of peace and we're all striving to achieve that.  Right there with you. If you ask me what I want for Christmas, I want peace on earth really bad. I want it now. Yes, and we can all do our part. We don't have to worry about being like somebody else or how well or not well someone else is doing. If we mind our own business and do our part, everything works together perfectly. Yes, it sure does.

10:08

um What's the craziest thing that a child has asked you for Christmas?

10:15

Probably the most common requests I get are for living things and I have to set them straight. And honestly, the parents appreciate this. Santa doesn't fly with anything that can poop in the sleigh. So it goes for puppies and kitties and donkeys and boyfriends and girlfriends. don't do any of that. So  it's always adorable.

10:36

And it's always something that I have to advise them.  I can bring a toy puppy or a toy kitty or maybe a Ken doll or a Barbie doll, but that's about it. Mm-hmm.  Yep.  I wanted a teddy bear for my  15th Christmas.  And I asked Santa because Santa is real.  And my mom said, what do you want for Christmas from Santa? And I said, I want a teddy bear. And she said, what kind of teddy bear? And I said, a gunned

11:04

teddy bear G-U-N-D. Yes, very nice. Very, very nice teddy bear back in the  80s,  90s, 80s.  And I didn't think I'd get it because I thought that Santa might think that it was silly that a 15 year old girl wanted a teddy bear.  And there was a beautiful chocolate brown gun teddy bear under the tree Christmas morning that said, that said love Santa. So thank you, Santa.

11:32

It's my pleasure. I love teddy bears and I love anything that a child can use their imagination to play with. Yeah. My daughter actually asked if she could take it with When we're spoon feeding too, it's not good for children.  Sorry.  I  over you. sorry.  She asked me if she could take it with her when she moved out when she was 18  and it had sat on my dresser for years.

12:01

I took really good care of that bear, looked brand new. And I said, why do you want it? And she said, because you love it and I love it. And so she has it still and she's 36.

12:12

That's beautiful. What a wonderful tradition to establish.  The thing is, she's never going to have kids. She doesn't want any. So it's going to be her bear until she dies.

12:23

Well, and nothing is final. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.  Yeah, I bet he laughs a lot. I he's entertained all the time. Yes. He has a great sense of humor.  He sure does.  I  say things out loud outside and I'm like, Ooh, I shouldn't have said that outside because now God is going to take that and run with it. And I'm going to be like, why did I say that?  Okay. So.

12:53

Santa, you  are a jolly old elf. You are a uh round guy. Is that from all the cookies or is that just because you like to eat during the year? Well, I love the cookies. That's a lot of calories to burn off. So I do.

13:11

to stay in shape. mean, you have to be to harness the reindeer and drive the sleigh and carry the toys and go up and down the chimneys. And I get a lot of steps in, but the cookies, oh, they're so good. Can't stop eating them. So that takes a little while to burn off. And usually year to year, there's always a little bit of a pooch. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard not to eat the cookies. agree. Yeah, they're so good. Speaking of up and down the chimneys.

13:40

I don't know if it's just magic or if you can actually tell me how you do it, but there are places don't have chimneys. So  how do you get in the house if there's no chimney? Oh, that's a wonderful question.  I have a magic key that opens any door and I carry it with me on my belt  all the time. It's such a powerful tool  that you don't have to have a chimney. I'll find a way in and

14:08

Sometimes there are some movies and I've seen some silly representations of me about what happens and if I shrink down or I magically create a chimney or things like that. But it's not so complicated as that. If I need to get in, if the house wants me to come in, that's very important. You have to believe to receive that the key will open any door that I need to use to get in. So sometimes it's the front door. Sometimes it's the back door.

14:37

Sometimes it's a chimney and sometimes it's through the garage.  Or through a window maybe. Right. Whatever works. We have an understanding. The believers in me.  Yes. And I feel like Santa doesn't exist unless you believe in him. Absolutely. And I'm a gentleman. If you don't want to have me come over or you don't want me in your lives, then that's fine. I will find many millions more who are interested in

15:05

Continuing a relationship with me and having a wonderful Christmas. I love it. I love it. Santa, you're a good guy. Thank you. So how old is Santa?

15:22

Well, let me think here. I think they, will be celebrating 1743. Hmm. Yes, about right. Definitely over 1700. I've been doing this for a while. You sound fabulous for 1700. Really? Get good rest and I get my steps in. So those are two good things. Good. So how can little kids or even big kids

15:52

Being your good graces and not end up on the naughty list. What are the three top things to be on the good list? Well, the first step, I think, and the easiest way to get your heart in the right way is to think of others before yourself, especially little things.

16:12

do little things with great love, with  mediocrity or apathy or begrudgingly. You'd be amazed at how  easy everything can go and how  smoothly everything can run just in your own home. If you're going downstairs, maybe take the laundry with you. If you're going upstairs, maybe feed the cats on your way up. Whatever you can do, it's no skin off your nose and it  makes the house so much more peaceful. And that's what we want more of in this world.

16:42

Mm-hmm. And then the second thing? The second thing  is ask yourself if things are a need or a want.  Oh my goodness, we're so addicted to more, more, more, more, bigger, faster, stronger. Be happy with what you've got. Sometimes what you really need is a wonderful experience and not stuff. You may not even remember who got it for you. Even if it's me, years later, you may not know.

17:12

Where this thing came from and you just throw it away and what a tragedy. Okay, and is there a third? Well, if you've got your heart right and you're not thinking of yourself all the time and you're staying humble and you're trying to work for the good of  others, you would be amazed at how much more fruitful your life can become and when you're at peace, it's a great spot to dream from.

17:41

And you might discover  wonderful abilities and talents and a calling to do something you never even knew you had in you. But you have to be at peace to have that frame of mind.  A hundred percent agree with you. And I'm on the nice list. I know I am because I got those three checked off already all the time. Oh, you're doing a wonderful job. Although dusting couldn't hurt.  It never ends. Right. Right.

18:10

Never ends. I swear to goodness, my dog sheds and I dust and I dust and I dust and her little white hair show up everywhere anyway. Yes. It keeps you humble. Yeah. And keeps me busy. It's, it's a lot. She, she's, she's got like crimped hair. so when she shakes it goes everywhere, but she's a good dog. So we're going to keep her and I will dust so I can have my dog. And so that I stay on the good.

18:40

the nice list. Absolutely, taking good care of what you're responsible for. Well, considering that I was the one who really, really wanted her, I have to be responsible for her. Well done.  And she was a want. She was a want.  I really wanted a puppy and we got a puppy. One of the best things we ever did. She's five years old now. She's still my puppy. That's beautiful. And she wanted a good home and you gave it to her.

19:06

Yeah, she's very upset right now because I locked her out of my room so I could talk to Santa.  Oh, well, she'll understand.  She will. She'll be fine. um Does Santa have pets beyond the reindeer?  Oh, we have lots of pets up at the North Pole. Sometimes the elves want something to take care of besides toys. So we have  geese and chickens and ducks and pigs and goats and just about anything. I have a whole zoo.

19:34

So Mrs. Claus's favorite animal is a giraffe. So you know we have a couple of those. You might be surprised at what you find up at the North Pole. If you are ever let in, again, we try to keep things private and quiet and invisible. Uh-huh.  And a partridge in a pear tree up there?

19:53

Yes, we have a whole orchard of pear trees.  I love pears. We have apples and peaches and grapevines and all kinds of fruit.  Underneath the dome, we can control different climates. I actually have a little beach because I don't think anybody else wants to see me in uh a swimsuit. I have a private beach for when I want to go swimming.  Very nice. That is awesome.

20:21

I love swimming. Swimming is a great exercise. That's how you get the calories down from all the cookies, right?

20:29

I float pretty well too.  Yep. bet you do.  All right, Santa.  I don't know that I have any more questions right off the top of my head. I'm sure that I will think of a hundred when I'm going to sleep tonight,  but  thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me. I appreciate it.  It's my pleasure. Anytime. I'm happy to make time in my schedule for you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas.

 

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store
A Tiny HomesteadBy Mary E Lewis