Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you about China's hopping vampires. Fortunately, we listened to the very first Saturday School episode of Super Scary Haunted Homeschool so we knew all the answers.

This episode is written, narrated, and produced by Grady Hendrix, New York Times bestselling author of The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires. You can learn all his weaknesses at gradyhendrix.com.