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A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido?

A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and our) question is: What is wrong with these people??!! How can she get them to stop, and consider how misogynist this is?

Our guest this week is Elise Loehnen, the New York Times bestselling author of "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good." She is also the host of the podcast, "Pulling the Thread." She and Dan talk about the role that envy plays in the scrutiny of women, slut shaming, lust, and how to work on our relationships with right-wingers. They had a lot to talk about! Some of it is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum.

A woman's new boyfriend was sexually abused by his previous girlfriend. He felt pressured by her to have sex, and it's resulted in his being unable to get hard for the caller. She worries her own excitement will be interpreted as pressure. How can they create safe, loving intimacy as he gets over the previous toxicity?

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Got a Q? Dan's got an A.

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project and high-volume producer of cultural neologisms. Santorum, pegging, GGG, tolyamory, monogamish! Dan came up with them and Dan can take them away.

A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don't know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they're a gay couple? Or explain the whole poly thing?

He can't eat gluten. His boyfriend eats a lot of gluten. Can he eat his boyfriend's come?

On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back Gianmarco Soresi to the show. The stand-up comedian, shares tales of being a straight man in theater camp as a youth, and a straight man at Fire Island as an adult. He and Dan talk about how to be both a dom AND and a power bottom. And, here's a mind hack for gay actors who have to kiss a lady: pretend she is a watermelon.

A man discovered his kinky side with his then-girlfriend. Now that they are broken up, he is sure to see her with her new boyfriend, a pillar in kink scene of their town. How can he learn to go to the munches with his head held high?

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

This episode is brought to you by Erika Lust.com -the world’s leading platform for ethical, cinematic adult films. Right now, my listeners get 45% off your subscription when you enter the code SAVAGE45 at erikalust.com. That’s Erika Lust with a K!

This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit ⁠VB.Health⁠ when you use the code Savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. Fearlessly plumbing the depths of anal sex, fighting against the forces of jealousy, a champion for body positivity, and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has had a LOT to say, lo these many years. If only they would listen.

A married mother did some sex work in her younger, wilder days. She's turned on by money, so it seems obvious that she should be a findom. But the typical clientele prefer a younger woman to take their money. How can she get her middle-aged kink on?

Meanwhile, a gay man thinks porn is boooor-rrinnng! It's unrealistic, predictable and repetitive. Is there anything good out there?

Sometimes you get questions that can only be answered by a porn star. Fortunately, Dan knows some! We are delighted to welcome John Thomas to the show. (You may know him as "Best Bottom of 2021") The extremely charming and visually compelling Thomas, helps answer questions about ethical porn production, the supply and demand differential between tops & bottoms, and the dark art of douching. A little of this gem is on the Micro, and the whole beautiful thing is on the Magnum.

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A man's 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor?

A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a boy than a man. His friends tell him to work it. But how can he safely enjoy New York City's gay dating scene?

On the Magnum, a concerned mom wonders how to steer her teenaged kids toward ethical porn. We couldn't think of a better guest to bring on than Erika Lust- she's been making beautifully shot, thoughtful, sexy porn for 20 years. She and Dan talked about dealing with porn as a parent, how much porn is too much porn, and how adult content should NOT be in the hands of tech bros.

Finally, is it a consent violation to walk the streets with come visibly on your face?

It's a yes or no question.

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This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!

This episode is brought to you by Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy by Mel Cassidy. It’s a book on how to do poly better. US-based listeners can get 25% off on www.northatlanticbooks.com through September 2025 with code SAVAGE.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, obituary aficionado and creator of the It Gets Better Project. Bringing you the ups and downs and ins and outs of sex (with a dose of progressive politics,) since the ink dried on the Louisiana Purchase.

A woman's old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She's miffed, and wonders if she's being too sensitive.

We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators?

Our guest is the indomitable E. Jean Carroll. She is a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson, and The New York Times bestselling book NOT MY TYPE: One Woman vs. a President. After Donald Trump sexually assaulted her in 1995, she notably beat him in court, twice. She and Dan have a frank, funny convo about the courage it took to face Trump and his legal team, how the assault impacted her sex life, and how most politicians are cowards. Dan and E. Jean clearly love each other, and also divulge an insider advice columnist hack. E. Jean Carroll is a hero and belongs on a votive candle. A little of this interview is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

A woman with mental health challenges can't get off when her partners wear condoms. Now she's pregnant, and plans to get an abortion. She feels like a fool for getting into this situation. What are her options in the future and are there other women out there who have the same problem?

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From age differences to abortion, virgins to vasectomies and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity.

A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role?

A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to?

On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopian novels in a dystopian present, on being a clotheshorse, the student debt crisis, setting boundaries in kink and more!

A very androgynous AFAB person has a ton of pull with both men and women. But they are new to the gay cruising scene and want some tips on navigating those entrancing homo spaces.

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This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!

This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.

This episode is sponsored by SuperPower: Expert Longevity Blood Testing. For a limited time, our listeners get a SuperPower membership for just $199. Go to Superpower.com and use the code “Savage”.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From body hair to birth control, asexuality to auto-erotic asphyxiation and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive?

Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband.

A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-optional way. But guess who is invading Gay Island! Straight families bring their kids to bask in the homo glow. Dan welcomes queer artist and writer Leo Herrera, to talk about the importance of gay spaces, and then they go into a deep dive about AI porn, and sex robots. There's a little on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

And, a man has been married thrice. For each wife, he reversed his previous vasectomy and then got a new one, without ever telling them that he'd done this. Should he come clean about all the vasectomies to his current wife? And seriously, what is up with this guy?

[email protected] 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s

A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue?

A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dynamic and shares his feelings, all will be lost.

On the Magnum, the dog ate her vibrator. You heard that right. The dog ate her vibrator and broke it. It ran on batteries and had more settings than she needed anyway. What should she replace it with? We bring on our star, beloved cartoonist/sex toy reviewer Erika Moen to advise.

And, a very special After-Action Report! 

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This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at Paired.com/SAVAGE

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing?

One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode.

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex." Febos pressed pause on her promiscuous life and abstained from sex for a year. She and Dan talk about the ways our sexuality defines us, and how we broadcast our desire.

A trans man is in love with his girlfriend. The sex is good but not great, because the caller can't bear to indulge his kinky side with his beloved. How can he get out of his head and get nasty with her?

[email protected] 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it?

A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this?

On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalist who visited a sex toy brothel in Berlin. Hear about her adventures into the future. Also, they take a call from a sex worker who worries that she and her co-workers are betraying women by faking orgasms for men's pleasure.

A woman is VERY supportive of her trans son. He explained that he doesn't masturbate because his vagina gives him dysphoria. Is there a sex toy she could buy him? How involved should she get here?

[email protected] 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com.

This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, world traveller and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From foreplay to freysexuals, premature ejaculation to pegging and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, in this wicked, wicked world.