SouthGeek News

Scarlett Johansson.exe Has Entered the Chat


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Donovan and Ben hold down the fort without Sam, who’s apparently still wrestling zoo alligators. Ben drops a hard drive (RIP 10TB of forgotten MP3s), debates whether $1,300 iPads are just overpriced sketchpads, and confesses his Bitcoin stash started as free Monero mining. Donovan rants about Windows 11 upgrades, registry hacks, and Microsoft’s uncanny ability to make File Explorer even worse.

The duo also roast Amazon’s latest “who asked for this?” gadgets, DoorDash’s delivery robots frying in the Phoenix sun, and the rise of AI-generated actresses like Tilly Norwood—because Hollywood definitely needed Scarlett Johansson without the salary. Other stops include Microsoft cutting Israel’s cloud access, Amazon coughing up $2.5 billion in “Prime shenanigans” refunds (a whole $51 each—don’t spend it all at once), Trump’s TikTok fire sale to his billionaire buddies, and a startup peddling psychedelics without the trip.

They wrap up with nostalgia for landline phones—because apparently the hottest new gadget for kids in 2025 is… a corded phone that only calls grandma.

It’s geek news, southern fried, with just enough cynicism to pair with a Reese’s and a Kit Kat.



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SouthGeek NewsBy Donovan Adkisson & Ben Rehberg, with Samuel Lewis