This episode was supposed to be all about Assassin’s Creed Shadows—you know, stealth kills, Yasuke, katanas, the usual assassin goodness. But then Schedule 1 came crashing into my life like a kilo of coke through a windshield, and suddenly I’m running a full-blown narcotics empire from a dingy motel room, questioning my morals and beating lazy staff into a lake. It’s that kind of week.

Before diving into the madness of Schedule 1, I catch you up on this month’s gaming chaos:

• Bethesda surprise-dropped the Oblivion Remaster in Unreal Engine 5, and it’s gloriously buggy, beautiful, and nostalgia-fueled.
• NVIDIA graphics cards are literally catching fire, and I’ve got thoughts (and burns) about what’s going on with their latest driver disasters.
• DOOM: The Dark Ages is taking us medieval with maces, flaming shields, and heavy lore—because who needs modern guns when you’ve got rage and chainmail?
• The Nintendo Switch 2 is real, expensive, and coming soon (probably), with pre-orders leaking via Walmart.
• Cyberpunk 2077 running on handheld hardware? Yep—confirmed for Switch 2, thanks to DLSS magic.

Then it's time for the main event: Schedule 1—a hilariously twisted drug empire sim that’s part cozy tycoon, part Breaking Bad fever dream. From growing weed and crafting custom narcotics with names like “OG Slime,” to unlocking meth labs, cocaine networks, and dealer management, the game lets you build your empire with zero shame and full satire. You’ll feel bad... until the money rolls in.

It’s unfiltered, addictive, ridiculous—and I’m 100% here for it.

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